a day in the life of piano monkey

it's a thunder moon. full moon of july. the first one after the summer solstice.  i have never been so in-tune with the moon.  it all started when i got to banff last year. the weird inclination to befriend the night, though it always was there, as long as i could remember, really touched me this year.  especially since gabe died.  infectious fever to look up into the night sky. again and again and again. as one cannot sleep, it's only natural to seek the nightly world i suppose- the one that may be pale and a bit far, quiet, almost eerie. even in the middle of the city of three and a half millions. this evening, i tried to keep my consciousness occupied by editing pictures and doing some silly things. things with no deadlines.  things to keep self busy. things that i could place in between the cracks of thoughts, the cracks that bleeds deeply through myself, a pool of grief, much like the tears of earth i walked on during caving adventures, ...

(btw, we are a bit west of this map. but we could see that we came a long way, from shore of ontario!) greetings, i have been away from a normal civilization for awhile.  from the 15th, i have been travelling on this short school bus that is packed with non-conforming 20-30s, most of us being musicians or bohemians of some sort.  it has been a quite an experience, just being on the road for no particular reason. right now, we are perched on the ranch in saskatchewan, where the horse lady is leading the life of grass, earth and horses, of course. it's been quite difficult to get on to the internet and do a proper blog posting, but at least i am able to put up something for today! though it really isnt the right time to post something in detail, as being in the middle of such busy interaction, one's head tends to be full of too many things.  but i am taking notes (analogue datakeeping!), and will be able to sort the thoughts out, as there have ...

i ____ you with smudge of yearning  through the vast space of dark velvety sky  to the brilliant pink of the dawn sun as the warmth of new day graces your window the new lays soaking through the window i slowly raise my snifter of sleep  wrapped with loose blanket of neons could we sink back to the winter evenings bodies and breath embraced weaved exchanged one cocoon with a thin gauze veil of semi-consciousness seeking without desperation newborn puppies without a complex script surviving through their newly weaved invisible net of fragility the haze of summer morning limbs in gentle arcs and bodies in parallel the scent of honeysuckle  lost to the brilliance of the dawn the unabashed beauty of her touches through  unexpectedly guiding me back to  a winter evening as one stood to soak up the mystery of summer solstice as one wishes to be there once again of crisp, snapped piece of winter solstice slow and gentle swing between dark sle...

so this holiday of just about a month or so is near to the end.  well, it feels funny to write about 'holiday,' as it really does not feel like a holiday nor it is a typical holiday.  i am not a passing visitor.  i am not a tourist.  i am no longer unfamiliar with the place and the people. it's a part of monkey points on the map, of several points where she spends a larger chunk of her days.  i dont have to refer to the map to see where i am and i know what time the local shop closes.  i can picture my grocery store's aisles and the local green grocer's display.  the idea of home being where one's heart is, i have several homes and it always gets a little confusing here and there.  it may mean my toronto residence, or my parents place.  it may mean canada or often south korea.  now it also means chinley, uk.  among the sheeples and rolling hills, weaved by wriggly roads, including one of the most dange...

first of july- happy canada day for everyone! but it's kind of silly to designate a date to celebrate a nation i think. the idea of celebrating a nation is great. it's just the arbitrary nature of the exact date i think is a bit silly.  okay, so it is not totally out of the blue as 1867 1 july 1867, the four provinces of nova scotia, new brunswick and quebec and ontario (used to be called the 'canada' province) formed the basis of independent canada as we know it (though the last leg of separation from the british paliament was as late as 1982), but along with the boon of the fourth of july just over the border, it is a quite a big celebration.  if i was back on the branch up in 32nd floor, the sky would be very clear as both countries tend to take the whole week easy and shut down the factories to holiday schedule, hence giving the great lakes region a rare chance to see the sky (not smog). however, at the moment i am still in uk, enjoying a visit that i...