a day in the life of piano monkey

last night was a small dinner gathering at the chemist's place with german medieval scholar and monkey. chemist is a very interested in things like backyard gardening, healthy and sustainable cooking (vegetarian he is), and is a very enthusiastic cook. both german scholar and monkey like to cook and eat with others as well, which means it's always a good time to cook and eat. underemployed doctor monkey, two phd students, we are a talkative bunch. the topics jump from catch up from the last choir concert to easter, house renovation to heterotopia. and the most nicest thing about such crowd is that we are not bound by politeness or previous exposure to a new subject. everyone is eager to take a piece of the current conversation to continue. and i continue to chew on last nights supper leftover, seaweed-noodle-green stew-ish thing (it does taste much better than it may sound), i cant help but to reflect on a simple expression: one cannot just do one thing. it is a borrowed expr...

i realize sometimes i have to walk away from the things that i decided to walk away from, i cant just sit there and stick it out. what does it accomplish anyways? it's always all or nothing- sure there are many things in between, but im talking specifically concerning one's active involvement in life. like a car, you either turn it on and go somewhere or turn it off and get out. no point to idle. unless you wanna burn gas. or annoy someone at the christmastide mall parking lot (gosh thoere are four words that should not create a unified image when put together but they do. ha ha) a committment is a committment and a decision is a decision. and neither of them will materialize unless one actually carries out the action to the next consequence. it's a bit of frightening idea to live with. thinking about something and forming an opinion isnt enough? all the little actions you take, they always make a dent on the larger tragectory of process. every angle changes the final desti...

it's april. couple years ago in one april i was not doing so well. then couple years before that april, i was a wreck. a bit before that another april, that wasnt so good either. approaching the decade number three, it seems that things have been rather heavily patched and reworked. snapped cable, tied over a sailor's knot. put into work, because that is the only one that you have. i am alright this april. pensive. even happy most of the time. what were those things that cut through so badly? what did they feel like? i still see the shards of things, more like glimpses. on me, in me, around me, of me. i remember reading a short article as i was tying my shoes, on way out from the health center of the university, one of those times it was kinda tough, gritty: death of saul bellow. "A man is only as good as what he loves." ah bellow, you leave us with such hilarity. thinking about that quotation, my step was a bit lighter from that point. until i crossed the next bog. l...