a day in the life of piano monkey

i remember looking at the calendar, thinking: hmm what is google going to do this year for april fool's gag? well, funny enough i still havent found out, though i hear in the wind that they were trying to encourage people to use 'slow' internet to save the bandwidth or something, haha.  but seriously, it's already 4th of april- where did the time go?  it's been rather busy though- last week, i was busy playing the hero, rescuing a concert from cancellation- a pianist had an injury and so i was called in on monday to play on thursday. it makes me feel a bit silly that now i can actually say 'yeah, i will do it'- couple years ago, i wouldve been shivering at the very thought. and then couple other things- recording, playing, editing, general freelancing and the logistics housework that comes with it.  i feel like saying 'no' to some things yet i know that i have open summer coming up so i may as well enjoy it i suppose!  and with this newly built ...

it is a bright day today here in chinley.  thanks to the hailstone-rain of yesterday, all the water in the air seems to have drained downward, through the soggy spongy earth, leaving the sky blinding bright.  here at the green pasture basket, the bedroom has been recently painted to a pale yellow and it is quite a joy to see the sunlight peeking behind from the curtains.  especially when a sunny morning is not a guarantee but a luxury. it has been quite busy.  it seems amazing- it ought to be impossible really, as i am not legal to work here, period. however, like all blank calendars, it somehow filled itself right up to the rim.  it is difficult to note all things of amusement, but the most recent events were a birthday party and joe satriani concert @ manchester.  and they happened to fall on the same day (how does it always happen so?)  since it was a big-number birthday of a particular oboist friend, it entailed numerous things- espec...

so this holiday of just about a month or so is near to the end.  well, it feels funny to write about 'holiday,' as it really does not feel like a holiday nor it is a typical holiday.  i am not a passing visitor.  i am not a tourist.  i am no longer unfamiliar with the place and the people. it's a part of monkey points on the map, of several points where she spends a larger chunk of her days.  i dont have to refer to the map to see where i am and i know what time the local shop closes.  i can picture my grocery store's aisles and the local green grocer's display.  the idea of home being where one's heart is, i have several homes and it always gets a little confusing here and there.  it may mean my toronto residence, or my parents place.  it may mean canada or often south korea.  now it also means chinley, uk.  among the sheeples and rolling hills, weaved by wriggly roads, including one of the most dange...

(from community of st johns, princeville, illinois, 2007 visit) the things i got done for gabe recently: clean up his room (26 lighters found so far) got his parking ticket sorted out got his student loan sorted out got his credit card sorted out got his phone bill sorted out got his banking sorted out apply for canadian pension plan stuff apply for b.c. insurance stuff sent off 7 thank you cards things in process: waiting for his last paycheque get his 407 ETR account sorted out finish writing thank you cards (will kill me) call the embassy meanwhile, along with a nasty cold (i thought i was dying seriously, coughing my sides out), with sunshine (high of 28 yesterday), also with constipated sky threatening rain (that would be today), i am looking into the first long wknd of the summer, victoria day wkind, it is the unofficial start of the summer.  my god, where did the spring go?  well. i know and you know where it went.  cant believe i...

dearest rabbit lady, i wish i could be there. i am here, as much as i can be, and at least that much is real. as my resonance with you is also real sharp pain, ice pick through the heart. no. hearts. when his heart stopped, yours dropped. when yours dropped, mine bucked. a great chain of arrhythmia. if we listened to the track, it would say 'tempo tragico' in stark dark key of a minor. the news- it was due at certain point, as we tasted it so sharply being so far away from the east coast. the small detail being that it would be devastating, regardless of the timing. i was hoping that it would have been extended just a little further longer, though i dont exactly know what the delay would have provided, except- perhaps just a little more time. your loss is not just yours. but mine. ours. i am a friend of yours, it is a personal loss. as my friendship towards you is unlimited, your loss also resonates in real sense, physically and emotionally. space is only one determinant o...

we are the children of this very night wind that carries the ancient light of icy stars the keepers of time and stories who are still expanding beyond the scope of human intelligence we are the children of the grey blue rockies that holds millenias worth of secrets and stories the nurturer of the first spring shoots and smallest ferns of thousand years we are the fragile bits of vulnerable life on this earth simple offspring of dualities and oppositions our hands cold and empty eyes eager to see into the open with no other weapon than a hope we look far and wide, the open vast grandness filling up, filling up our empty bellies and weak hearts. children, vulnerable but decorated dearly with love of present, gracefully diving into the open future, i salute you, a fellow dear friend, into the new day, with courage love understanding

it is approaching end of another year and i cant help but to look back and how much life have changed in such a short time. as aforementioned, mr. banffmagic's been working nonstop here in the mountains, touching many people's lives. including mine. out of the blue, i had a small need to let him know that i have been touched and that my life in fact, have changed a whole a lot since i came to banff. perhaps though it is tad bit too dramatic, fateful may have the befitting word. a year ago this time, i had no idea that i will be living among one of the greatest mountains of the world. or to play with such musicians and characters, to experience another phase, getting back into music, being able to enjoy what i do- playing music, communicating, opening up and creating a whole new life full of airlight spiderwebs. a year ago, i wouldve been still dragging my bicycle out at half past four, going down on yonge street, cold and dark, to get there in time for my opening shift at ...

it is difficult thing at times to go against one's grain, regardless how nice or gritty it may be- depending on the person, of course. how weird it is that we go through months, years worth of efforts to become something that is socially accepted and encouraged, however against the grain it may be. i am not so sure about the happiness of the average of the general public, however, i do think that the mean definitively exist and that it does crush on souls at times. inconvenient and often painful, however, one tries to see it as much as one could as the necessary evil, some sort of human trial thing: come on, you can! (insert music: eye of the tiger or something grande) with no defined schedule and the kind of work i do (weirdly, it's the kind of work that if you want to be the average, it isnt too difficult, but if you want to excel, holy cow, you better the patient because.. well, i hear that you never get there. i donno. i hope they are wrong), i am left with much room in m...

ive been thinking and looking up on random things, or what may seem very random, but true (i have silly feeling that's all im going to do with life and hence not accomplish anything 'serious' and 'grown up', sigh). and one of them is maypole dance. well, dont worry, im not a pagan. they probably tell me that im not cool enough to be pagan or wiccan. sigh. oh the overeducated solitary monkey. true, i dont have dreads, dont have a strictly doctrinated consumer/diet guide or funky clothing but most importantly, i just never have this absolute devotion or conviction, even belief in anything. whenever something turns into religion and becomes self-martyr of a sort, i kinda.. start.. to walk.. backward.. fast and unsure. recipe for disaster. pāgānus(rustic, of country)(non militant civilian)(non-christian, as christians were hot about being this soldier of christ idea), paisent(peasant), πάγος (rocky hill), pag- (fixed, as of pact, stake, pole, etc).. words words words...

it is a bloody early morning and it's that one day of the week i need to actually work. i should get my butt to the bed. but i can barely contain the excitement though im really trying to put a lid on it. oh well, i guess good news can be spread right? well so here it is. i have a good friend visiting from montreal. we met in a small festival in italy. she: violinist, me: monkey. we played mozart b major and some other ditties. it was good times. one of those few instances where you run into a person and then the world goes... click. and all the sudden, everything is infinitely better. she was studying in nyc and i was all over- states, canada, whatever. but luckily we kept in touch and things been alright despite of busy schedules, distances, whatever. anywhos, she was in yyz this time to audition for canada council instrumental bank loan program. monkey had hastily practiced sibelius violin concert and after a night of rehearsal, we went. and played. i do have to say it was a bit...

monkey and PO have been roaming nyc and i cant help it but feel a bit like a miniature king-kong. it's been an interesting trip so far in a sense that i am actually travelling in a third place with another person (i am a usually a lone traveller-) and boy that brings out details that i need to think about- simple things as do we walk or take the transit to whether to buy internet at the hotel (at 10 bucks a day! gawd!! well, obviously we succumbed and now am musing on web. so much for 'sticking it out' monkey!) (but that also meant monkey may be able to catch up with mr. salamander at some point which would be... good). anyways, back to the nyc trip itself, we got through the border through yyz-lga which was less crazy than many other times i remember travelling as a student, thank god. but flying two propellers trotter was a bit noisy. but thank gawd, monkey slept through most of it. hooray. btw, did you know that matt's tomato juice contains about 48% of daily reco...

a short one. i had 1.5 pints and am quite sleepy from it. good old friends from utoronto days. and unexpected quark running- to my old friend who is leaving town on sunday to study ethnomusicology in texas! what a variety of people. the topics of the night were all over the place, as people are also all over the map. but out of all those people, i have to say the company of particular fluties (thats what i have been calling them for ages for some reason), esp. miss LB and miss CH are always enjoyable. and i am glad to think that it's mutual- yay. miss L's off to start masters of music-flute in montreal and miss CH's been working diligently on her phd thesis ever since the unicorn appeared (last year her university had so many ups and downs and i have a great admiration for the way she dealt with all that paper crap and going to UN meetings blah blah so many things. she's a super woman). and mr. AN is about to start a degree at utoronto, which is pretty sweet. fab. btw, ...

today was spent obeying tempers of god and my gene pools. after what seems to be a real amusing if not amazingly not-entertaining conversations about 'correct dosage of vitamins one should consume when expose to abnormal amount of radiations, such as in airplane cabin,' kindly provided by my random seatmate, monkey was dropped with mercy at my parent's house in north end of toronto, at some ungodly time after pumpkin hours. actually, i stand corrected. it wasnt exactly a conversation. as a conversation would imply at least somewhat reasonably interested replies and further inquiries from one party to another. this was a rather.. unexpected and unasked case of pseud- holistic approach to plane ride to preserve the 'natural state' of one's body. the most amusing part was perhaps the fact i was continuously thinking that there is nothing, absolutely nothing natural about being hurled across the big open sky in a large metal object that consumes ungodly amount of fu...

the days are faster, harsher and to be honest, surprisingly demanding/abrasive at times. but i suppose it's because i am too sensitive, a big baby. it's a bit of schizophrenic life here as a piano kid. but everyone seems to be holding alright, tall, proud and smiling. well, im kinda dented, but i suppose i can at least squeeze out a silly face. i realize that i may have a look of defeat from the day, but really, it's not appropriate for me to advertise my 'hard' life to others. i know that it's not others' business to be considerate in a sense that i need to perform certain tasks and that they need to be done as well as it could be. simple. what i need to do to get it done, simply should not be their concern, but just mine. because it's my work you see. not their work. i signed and i am working. if i need to produce a certain product, it is my bloody job to deliver what's asked of me, or as much as i could. it's not anything to do with me, but...

  i am so knackered after a jolly pint (okay well more than one. now that's progress. back in beginning of may, you would had to pay a rather handsome, large sum of money for monkey to drink a bitter. now. well. im a total toast), a good practice session (nothing like a practice post-pint. somehow, it feels so much better though it probably is sounding so much more entertaining), a good long bike ride around the town and a killer shower/bath. but somehow i have this compulsive need to make a public announcement. there are a few people in this world that i really dearly love. now, dont get smartypants on me and start asking questions such as: what is love? how do you define love? what if your definition of love is different from mine? what if it's love that hurts? what kind of love? those questions are reserved for semiotics discussion. perhaps etymology or cultural studies as well. pub talk, a general topic that gets chewed till the end. like an old piece of gum that is about t...