a day in the life of piano monkey

Lay your sleeping head, my love, Human on my faithless arm; Time and fevers burn away Individual beauty from Thoughtful children, and the grave Proves the child ephemeral: But in my arms till break of day Let the living creature lie, Mortal, guilty, but to me The entirely beautiful. Soul and body have no bounds: To lovers as they lie upon Her tolerant enchanted slope In their ordinary swoon, Grave the vision Venus sends Of supernatural sympathy, Universal love and hope; While an abstract insight wakes Among the glaciers and the rocks The hermit's sensual ecstasy. Certainty, fidelity On the stroke of midnight pass Like vibrations of a bell, And fashionable madmen raise Their pedantic boring cry: Every farthing of the cost, All the dreadful cards foretell, Shall be paid, but not from this night Not a whisper, not a thought, Not a kiss nor look be lost. Beauty, midnight, vision dies: Let the winds of dawn that blow Softly round your dreaming head Such a day of sweetness show Eye and k...

everything is hanging in bare thread it feels, that i cannot make anyone truly happy nor keep my own self happy. at this point im hoping to stay inoffensive, cause less trouble and that really isnt adding much to the world is it? it seems as if im committed to waste my life in sense of unfulfilled hope or continuous lament and it is also surprising to me: how did i get here? it's another day of gentle spring rain here. with taste of the winter still lingering over, as the low chimneys of the old houses are breathing out the warm wet humid clouds from their hot innards, breathing, consuming, bearing the winter out, through and through, season after season. in the midst of grey and brown of stones, aged in silence and stories of generations and generations, there are hint of new greens shooting up, ever so hopefully, along the cracks of the stone walls, on the tree barks, on the tips of the fragile, once dead branches. one of the very first signs of spring, or shall i say glimpse o...

finally i went to see avatar 3D today. first time we went, it was sold out, literally about 5 people before our turn to get the bloody tickets. today, we thought the afternoon time should work great- well, it took them about 20 min to figure their damned system, so once again, it took a while. i was going to seriously laugh it was to be cancelled. but no. it did roll and for 3 hours i was deeply touched. one may wonder, what is so different? the story board is quite simple- the polarized good-evil, the inferences made to the idea of conquests, vietnam references, cross-race love story, etc. nothing very new, just very well weaved. in fact the stark contrast between the navi's and humans were almost comical. but as all exaggerated stories do, there was much room, the gaps in between, for the true feelings to mix in. wider the range is, the more one is able to pour one's own experiences into it. simple CGI move becoming a work of art. the cusp point of mixing the two separate...

it's been awhile since i wrote anything on this space. it's probably because i had no space in my head to begin with, no room to really let things permeate and grow. the verdicts from the dementors were in last week as i have visited the school during the preview day, where you go and do the meet-and-greet kind of things. during lunch we were served some lunch and the most interesting thing of the day was this very peculiar white fried thing. i still cant tell whether it was supposed to be: a. chicken fingers b. fish finger c. fried cheese it is not a good situation! i have made the 'cut' however i didnt really make the cut as i simply do not have 15,000 pounds for the tuition alone. there's always this difficulty as an international student. i understand the idea that the local or domestic students have already contributed through their heritage- their parents, grandparents and such, through the tax system that made the institution and the history/culture of a p...

post-audition bum monkey have been wandering for no good reason at all in the small town of chinley - and is experiencing entirely different winter than a year ago. instead of big rocky mountains, i am surrounded with gentlest hills. though completely a different place, with even a different clock running, there is that winter scent- icy, clear, hint of chimney smoke. it's a luxury and i am saturated with snow and grey-blues. in such pale palette, i think of various people and cant be helped but be really warmed by their vibrant presences. much grace and thanks for you all. with no one watching, the birds are quiet, perched on branches, holding onto every minute, with their wiry claws, they await, for the spring to return, as surely, as much as cutting the northern wind is, it must turn around and come back to south. once straight to the sky, the green buds are now curled with whimsical history of winter, slightly irregular and brittle, they are not the same, alas, however display...

today i was to set out to geneva to see dear peeps. planned a bit ago, i thought it would be a perfect timing to start out the year, post-audition, to take an advantage of u.k. location. and from the very first mention of it, the plan took a shape quite rapidly and all the sudden, i was en route to the land of fondue, swiss-army knives and ridiculously good chocolates (though the belgians also do justice to cacao products, yes). ah well, forget it, it could have been land of- ooh i dont know, shoes-leather-tanning industry, but i would have gone happily anyways because i wanted to be with people. who, all the sudden, seemed a lot closer. plane tickets were well-priced. and i got my papers in order. all i had to was show up at the terminal, as usual dull air travel protocol. after a quite a fizzy drive to the airport and the lovely security checks (it was no pain at all! im getting too good at packing), there i was, on the hub, just waiting for the gate number. then came half hour ...

  i told you that it is the hitler cat. not a hitler cat. THE hitler cat. i dare you to piss it off and goering will be on your ass. new post will be up soon... love to you all! :)

ONE’S-SELF I sing— a simple, separate Person; Yet utter the word Democratic, the word En-masse. Of Physiology from top to toe I sing; Not physiognomy alone, nor brain alone, is worthy for the muse—I say the Form complete is worthier far; The Female equally with the male I sing. Of Life immense in passion, pulse, and power, Cheerful—for freest action form’d, under the laws divine, The Modern Man I sing. (walt whitman) today i went to the sea with mr. salamander with sole intention of going to see the sea. crosby beach holds 100 man figurines, each weighing 650kg. will write more about it, but at the moment, of life immense, the modern man i sing. of life immense, the humanistic elements of my- and our lives, i sing. love to you all.

it is 1540 greenwich mean time on 07.01.10, meaning audition day is over. lots of commotion during the day including panel member switches, last minute singers, train breaking down everywhere thanks to the cold spell, then car mishaps and all sorts of little unexpected mishaps. the original plan of heading to crosby beach after the audition did not materialize as sunset begins at 1600 and we would have not made it on time. and the auditions were both rather subpar and i am very sure unless i could find an employment of some sorts, i am on a short loan in europe and will be heading back to north america by springtime. why such a negativity, monkey? well, it's not a negativity. it's really an objective point of view. i totally got sacked in my audition. i prepped as much as i would like to (not as much as i could have, true) and set off early enough to deal with the logistics etc. kindly mr. salamander was being a big help during the whole process. including being my transpo...

so tomorrow is the day of audition for royal northern college of music. in about twelve hours, it will be all done and over with, and with absolutely no self-prediction, it will lead to the next bits of whatever-may-come. about a year ago, i would have never thought that i would be doing a cold audition in uk, never mind being re-inspired by music. after a very exhilarating year which includes a bit of preparation for this particular occasion, i cant help but to feel a little damp about the whole situation. slightly apprehensive. disconcerting. inciting. what does it mean to 'apprehend?' well, it's two words put together: ad (-to) + prehendere (seize) 'to seize (the mind)' and meanwhile the french took it with a grain of hope (modern french 'apprehendre'(to learn, to be informed about), the english took it with a bit of bite (to seize- legally; to arrest) in 15th century. 'disconcert' is even better: dis (the opposite of) + concerter (to bring t...

the hills around monkey home 01-03, 2010 is covered with generous amount of snow. though i was told apologetically that uk does not get much snow- no, nothing like canada, they say, this is quite a bit. it came. over. the night. blanket. perhaps about 20cm. schools and government offices are closed. grind to halt. it's the wet, compacting snow. huge flakes, heavy ones that falls right through, no weaving in and out about. with all those grey and white around, however, i have received a pale yellow, meyer-lemon- wrapped- in- white- tissue- paper coloured postcard in the mail, with a little sketch of a hand holding a flower, by picasso. have you had encountered real meyer lemons? they are quite special little guys. they arent exactly just lemons. found, collected from china, then replanted in the states, meyer lemons are cross between lemons and sweet citrus- probably mandarins. unlike boisterous big, thick-skinned real lemons, they are very thin and smooth skinned and rather swee...

hello world. meet basil, the hitler cat. who managed to piss of 1/2 of its owner, well, actually the other half of the whole owner by hopping houses here and there. so what's with basil? monkey's been very lucky to have two practice facilities this winter all the way in england. this wk, dear friends who are away visiting in wales at the moment left the keys to the door so as long as the door works, i am free to go back and forth and play/practice/moan/feed the cat. yesterday it took about half hour to sort the door out- somehow while taking the key out from the deadbolt, i have managed to lock it so that i could no longer open it from the inside. so it required 1. giving up (on the idea that i will be able to 'undo' whatever i 'did') 2. locate the alternative route out (the back door from the kitchen) 3. find the keys to the back door (from myriads of keys hanging) 4. go out and open the door with the key from the outside (cold!) 5. test it out so that it...

it was three weeks ago today that banff residency fall 2009 had its final day, 12 12 2009. the last symmetrical day of the first decade of the twenty-first century shoot everyone like hot popped corns, to random directions all over. we all went back to places, pre-destined and mostly familiar. but nevertheless, changed without hope of true reversal. one cannot return back to a particular point of time. memories are imperfect. we all fill it in with wishes, hopes or/and despair. so comes that weird banff-family effect. the passengers of the voyage, especially the long ones, always end up bleeding onto one another, much like the water colour blobs on paper, slowly infusing and changing. no longer such clear edges nor lone isolated colour. at this point, certain readers may be very tired of this banff rant. i know, ive done it almost a year now. incredibly so. and i still have not ran out of things to say. and just to let you know, it's probably far from being over- it'll alw...

before the last bit of this year runs away from me, i thought i would drag its feet to the table and sit it down to have a proper if short farewell. there are few bits that needs to be taken care of during the day and once i set out, i am afraid that i just wont be able to find the space in my head. it's not that im travelling a great deal or going to a loud show today. but end of the year, like the last bits of the bath water, always seems to go down the drain fast and furious. curious isnt it! with that... swoooop! noise. all that warm water and bubbles gone, until it's filled up again. i have been too concerned about the flow of time and the things that i dont want to let go recently- being too self-conscious perhaps. year 2009 was the year of counting. with many cusp points. like a great balanced sine wave, many curves, here and there, weaving in and out through many different fabrics- myself, others, friends, family, strangers and people who i dont really know but came i...

the uncertainty in life certainly opens many doors. or should i call it being indecisive and not committed? last year this time, i was back in toronto, just finishing up rows of church services and having a little bit of time between starbucks barista days to first day in banff (i think it was the fourth of january). and i did not know what kind of place banff was, never been! it being iconic centre of canadian classical music (among other things), i just never been there- as the summer program tuitions can be quite high and i rather preferred to go to where i wont have to folk up so much. so it may seem hat i am money-conscious, financially paranoid. but it really is the opposite in a sense that the reason i was working at starbucks was to make some petty dollars, instead of taking a grown-man job like teaching posts and such. i was lucky enough to have enough resources to swing starbucks 40hrs/wk job and not have to starve. so it was one of those movie scenes, doctor barista who...

i woke from not unpleasant but a rather surprising dream today. this is quite a notable experience as i dont dream much. well, let's rephrase- i dont get to dream much. since i am a rather helpless insomniac, i am either up most of the time or in haze of very thin veils of sleep- that lets the consciousness to seep through, never quite dark or silent enough for a proper REM state. i had two occasion of dreaming this fall and winter so far and the last one was in banff. and that was a nice surprise- meant that i actually slept and rested. aah the sense of renewal and comfort! that was magic. and now one from last night, from post- christmas. i often hear people complaining about obscene or nonsense dreams; usually im slightly envious, as the ability to dream is one i frequently lack and the very concept of having a free- roaming consciousness in the world of no boundaries appeal a great deal. fantasy land. i was in a house, consisted of couple different places that i have lived,...

it's about 1208 gmt on 25-12-2009. with all kinds of rituals, festivities and businesses around the iconic date- whether it is directly related to it, for/against it, or simply related by proximity, christmas is here. 8 minutes ago. the christianity believes this is the symbolic arrival of the messiah. for the jews,they had their chanuka earlier this month. the muslims will be celebrating the day of ashura very soon. a bit later in january, the hindu festival makar sankrant will be here. the korean families back home will be eating the red bean soup to repel the end of the year bad luck and prepare the rice cakes for the new year's soup. the large percent of population of the world will be celebrating end of the year, and the position of christmas, not even a week from the end of the year, makes it very easy date to celebrate- the statue of it as legal holiday in many places also helps quite a bit i think. and anywhere that has been touched with western culture- however...

greetings from the old world, after much delays and rather shocking discoveries about the 'real' world. after two straight days of sleeping, im semi-conscious and extremely lazy. so i figured perhaps this may be the right time to recollect what kind of impact the 'border control' would have on monkey consciousness. it all came down to the fact that i have not bought a return ticket. this would be the very first time that i am travelling with one way ticket as getting an open ticket would cost even more than buying two separate tickets and with charter airlines, it isnt even an option to get an open ticket! so i figured, great, when march rolls around, i will know exactly i need to get back to toronto for work, so i will just get one way ticket. WRONG. after much delays (3 hours! the british stopped the airport because of some pansy snow! how inconvenient for me! haha) and super chatty ultra-christian formerly mechanical engineer businessman who plays the keyboard for...