a tree in chinley with a wish for all



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canned cocktail wiener found in walter hall

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today, walter hall was hosting a special event for violists: heidi castleman masterclass. she teaches at juilliard and yes, i think it is quite exciting to play for a different teacher- you can take away so much with you, the inspiration, technical knowledge, a new emotional dimension, you name it. and i was confronted by a special person as well, just not as helpful, however impressive. walter hall is a busy place. and it's only a natural thing that students want to get in there to practice- it sounds good, it feels good and yes, there is shortage of space at busy times of the day in school. however, it is a performance hall and not a practice room, especially regarding the pianos. the piano technicians work very hard to keep the instruments to meet the heavy demands.  they come way before the students, to yield to the kiddies who want to practice. and yes, they do go home after a day's work.  and because many musical events take place in late evenings, it is important ...
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the violence of spring

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spring returns brutishly below the beautiful petals transparent against the blue  is the strength that pushed through the frozen solid ground  with absolute conviction, it draws from the depth, pushes it up and up and up, little bulbs covered in papery brown skins turn into living fanfare despite all the concrete the bird songs echo off the glass menageries dead brown twigs surge with green blood  when the light hits just right everything alive is beautiful and bright flaunting victory over the days of hunched shoulders and white knuckles the absence hits with a deafening scream we are all back in the midst of this madness through it all, death carves out laser sharp edges of ones in eternal stillness where nothing changes gentle spring kind spring violent and unstoppable spring the light makes it possible to see the hollows where no shadow casts as it is empty i called mom and said that spring returned with a thundering conviction of repetition- we didnt say but we both ...
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goodbye day

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i went to see her early today and one of the things i asked was: when i grow up, what kind of person would you like me to be? she said: of course, you are already good, but you could work hard to become super-famous pianist and be gentle-hearted. i said: you cant really be gentle-hearted and powerful at the same time (chuckle) she said: really? i see... i said: pick one! she said: then.... be the very best gentle-hearted person you can be. i was going to return tomorrow morning early at 8am, so i can get some work done later in the day. at 6pm, i put on mahler 9th and felt restless. so i decided to take a bath. while the water ran, i debated whether i should go back to see her then. out of a blue. a dense nudge in the heart. i did not. but i did search for 'how to give bath to seniors.' thought it would be nice to give her a bath, if possible- i bet she hasnt had one in awhile, and she used to love it. then around 8, mom called. the universe as i known it, shattered itself in a...
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