a day in the life of piano monkey

http://youtu.be/xxYBFIkuFeI?list=PLF1A6D05AE0205982 et in terra pax- what a loaded statement. i recently went to see the russian film leviathan with friends. the story draws from the circular plot of human suffering- the spiral downward to infinite sadness where one loses the most important things, one by one, love, family, house, hope- for a simple cause of another: greed.  a story of a job. i wrote a blog post about book of job long time ago. i struggle with the story. the almighty god and almighty satan. the power bets. the human in-between. a pawn. today, i went to have a coffee with a new-ish friend. i think we can foster a nice relationship- which is quite exciting! another person will let me into her life, to relate, to share, to offer and take! and we talked about idea of north. of separation. of contexts. then of the gods. we are imperfect. with acceptance, we may be able to see the idea of perfection, something that is not bound by the human condition. rel...

to relate to another person/being/thing/event, it is to 'fuse.' 'fusion' comes from middle french 'fusion,' seen as early as 1550s, from latin word 'fundere,' meaning melting and pouring. a lung transplant. it's not a heart transplant- if you give your whole heart to another, well, you would be forfeiting your own life. lungs, you have a pair. everyone's a pair of lungs on average. you do not have working lung, you will end up gasping for air the whole time. life turns into a maelstrom. we can now do a very successful single or double-lung transplant. yes, one may open one's thorax to full capacity- though open cavity surgeries are becoming rarer, this procedure may require full-access. nothing held back. in naked vulnerability, a surgeon will gently remove the old lung. then the donor lung gets attached, 3 little vessels then connects the donor lung and the body: airway, pulmonary artery and pulmonary vein. and the the body is c...

a man walks, just about 4 meters ahead. we are enveloped by quiet, dark, cold night. my ears are fine-tuned to the steps on wet ground, only real source of light on back street are the lonely street lamps. he reaches the door, disappears. with cold fingers, i grab my keys, light, warmth. with slightly watering eyes, i enter the corridor. elevators. glancing, i sense panic. the pointed fingers, hastened breath, white knuckles, pressing that 'close' button. close. damn it. close. a man willing the machine, for obedience, for magic. and with other hand, fanatically putting his earbuds on. i stick my foot into the closing door of the elevator, and blurted out 'HEY MAN, I SAW THAT. NOT COOL.' dude is beet-red. and adjusts earbuds with his best efforts. deafening silence. the other two kids in elevator almost died laughing. ha ha. sat eve drama.

further thoughts from 2001:space odyssey 1. i think HAL, as an AI machine, did not realize what mistake is or what fear is. this was a major disadvantage because the one time he makes a mistake (when he cuts frank out), he still did not understand fear (if he had fear that he may be terminated, he may have been careful about leaving dave alive, for instance).  he only realizes he is fearful when he is being terminated ('im afraid, dave.') one mistake, hella price to pay. poor HAL. 2.  in fact, this first encounter with 'fear' is clearly illustrated when HAL's shutting down: 'i can feel it. i can feel it. i can feel it.'  paradoxically, until HAL was faced with a new condition (ex. dying), he did not have a chance to realize any emotion at all. which makes me wonder if HAL knew that he was 'alive,' which is different than 'becoming operational.'  he was never close to death, which means it may be impossible for HAL to realize HAL its...

so i was lucky enough to go see 2001: space odyssey yesterday at TIFF lightbox.  funny, i have seen parts of them so many times, however, this may be the first time that i saw it through, from beginning to the end. then, as always, i was left at the end with the greatest confusion. WTF happened? many films tend to leave me with more questions.  not the easy questions either- always provoking and questioning, a bit like pebble under the shoe somewhere when you are wearing a lace-up boots!  'amour' was like that, and so was 'mr. turner.' 'separation' and so many others…  i often feel cautious to 'commit' to a movie for this particular reason, ahaha! the idea of the monolith, the star child, the all-seeing eye of HAL, these are the icons that stuck through and through since. too bad that 'silence' in space did not stick through (drives me crazy when seeing a space scene, it is accompanied by obscenely loud sounds; there is no sound in va...

http://jodroboxes.deviantart.com/art/cymbal-monkey-202820833 ive been straddling two quite different worlds for a bit. one involves translating black and white to a real time sonic event (playing the piano), the other involves taking one's expression from one language to another (translating).  and there are so many striking similarities which made me further refine what i think of what i do. often when the refugee applicants ask me what i do, i say im a prole(tariat). probably as a reaction to the reality that classical music has became somewhat obsolete in the current G20 world, that it built and armed itself with great fortress of- class, economical and contextual separation.  it feel funny when someone addresses me as an artist. am i an artist? i would like to believe that im a prole.  my job as a musician is to create real-time sonic event (make sound) based on the physical codex, printed black on white (score), utilizing a machine (piano or what...

http://youtu.be/g3fOVDTg9pU every season has its own light. my favorite is the winter light. colder the air gets, moisture content decreases. the water drops lose their kinetic energy. they cling onto the ground, sleeping. hibernation. reyleigh scattering. isnt it interesting. thinner atmosphere will create paler sunlight. as... on earth, sun is closer to yellow. as we move away from the earth- light get paler. on the moon, it will be white (colourless). and the sky is blue because all the blue waves are bounced off, the red and yellows continue to travel and because they arent refracted, we dont see them. the white light directly from the sun under the thin cold air of morning plummeting to near silence- people move differently. faces covered, huddled up. and i keep looking up. seeing solid air. clouds. filling up my heart, right from my toes. up and up and up. burst. beauty breaks heart. in the winter light.

one of the gifts i have received this year is a book from blue heron lady, born to run, about the reclusive tarahumara indian runners. when i was a little overweight kid, i always thought running is for special people. then i dropped the weight. and because it was such a difficult journey to drop that weight, i alway perceived that sweating is a hard work. in a sense that if im sweating buckets while playing music, it felt oddly satisfying. i was told and i silently knew that such 'suffering' really is not necessary, even hinders the actual manifestation of the appropriate events, i was addicted to this feeling of 'no pain no gain.' and as one gets older, especially runners, they are warned on regular basis: watch out for injuries! you may break something! just like musicians who graduates from undergrad programs already loaded with slew of playing injuries. ive been lucky that i have not had playing injuries. just dumb ones, like falling over and breaking arm...

ive decided to try something new for 2015.  rather than losing train of thought (as it crashes onto the mount 'reality,' just over 'lack-of-time' and 'oh-but-so-not-pc'), what if i write very short observations instead? well, we shall see how it works. http://youtu.be/Mrokp2Pmapg http://www.bradmehldau.com/mehliana/#.VLSl6ivF98E my fav pianist mehldau teamed up with this amazing mark guiliana, drummer to create a mesmerizing album, mehliana.  the first track has bit of spoken bits. he talks about the idea of rage. then of the dragon. and of taming the dragon. yes, too often, we think being angry or frustrated is a negative thing. and by virtue 'polarization,' negative emotions are seen as a BAD thing. i think that when one is angry, there is a value in expressing that emotion to the fullest.  let it come out and rip the sky apart. let it show you how powerful and strong you can be. then you tame it. you get to know it. you know it. yo...