a day in the life of piano monkey

(art from nataliedee.com. yeah for cake) hello wee brother.  your first negative birthday was an eventful one at the least. first of all, someone has already taken the kind liberty of dedicating you a mass on your birthday.  so couple weeks ago, the older ladies of the house freaked out that you wont get a mass on 25th. seems that it was no worries to begin with.  so though it's during the weekday and that mom/dad had power outage at the store in the earlier day (probably brown outs with all those suburban houses i swear), we all decided to have a mass-get-together kinda thing. ironically, we forgot, well, dad forgot to read the line that says: 'this mass will be a private service,' as the priest was going to be away from the city during a short retreat with the altar boys. so after much commotion, we got there to learn that your mass was in fact, being served somewhere in nice outside park of ontario.  koodos for style man. then we went...

it's already friday and life since sunday, when mr. minnow has landed across the puddle to yyz, has been a bit of a blur. it's silly because we arent doing much touristy stuff yet the times are flying right past us. how nutty.nestled in the crack between leslieville and the beaches, we've been in and out, weaving with many different group of people, meeting, introducing, remember and sharing. life has been quite full on without much objective activities. and one nice thing is that he has brought the cool air with him and after that whacked-out-rain sunday, things have been very reasonable- dry, hot, bright summer. of course there are challenges in such nice conditions as well, the need to keep it quiet from certain individuals (i think im referring to my parents, ahaha), scheduling which i am not very good at all, and treading the fine balance between doing too much and not doing enough. but it's nice to know that he does not feel as if he's anoth...

in case i havent mumbled about it, i have workaholic parents. yes. they do live like a proper first-generation immigrants.  i feel badly at times as my life is all about doing as less required things as possible so that just in case something interesting pops up, i could jump on at any point.  basically, i like being lazy.  they are the inverse, the anti-thesis of me: they work six and a half days a week (sunday is the catch up day where they tries to do whatever that got left during the weekdays), and yes, they do leave the house at 5am for about half-hour commute.  then it's worky-worky-worky, till they come home.  on the days i head home, i expect them well-after nine in the evening.  if not ten.  so that's about 16-17 hours of pure work.  i have no idea how they do it.  i really wish they could hire some helps, but it's difficult because it is rather far to commute.  and not to mention the fact that they often forget...

i t is mr. minnow's birthday today, and according to british summer time zone, he's got about fifteen minutes till the day is over.  as much as i would like to be with him, it's not possible this year.  it does suck a bit, as i wasnt there last year either.  i looked into getting there on a surprise whim though the problem really was how to get back: going to uk was perfectly doable with a very cheap flight, but there were no real way to get back till september, without paying with arm/leg/chosen body part.  instead, monkey's here in yyz, thinking about the idea of birthday. i understand that birthday celebration can be quite artificial.  it's just another day to everyone else i suppose.  there are many people who shares birthdays and it is often common to move the 'celebration' to another day for everyone's convenience anyhow.  when you see another person, it is a given factor that the person would have a birthday, regard...

the world is a funny place in general. with all the different people and their views.  the influences and consequent confluences weaving in and out.  the only constant may be that nothing ever stays the same.  and more passionate or emotional one is related to the context of self, the feedbacks of the external world can be quite shocking, literally. often i think it would be very helpful for me to learn how to be oblivious to certain situations/phenomenons of life, as i understand that what i may/may not prefer is a personal opinion, that i can only see so far as i could, that what i believe is rightly acceptable/not is likely to be subjective. but one cannot help at times and i wish i could make my point with baseball bats at times.  that would be highly illegal.  and would be even more embarrassing IF i was wrong (as i am frequently changing my opinion on things all the time!) so it may as well be that i cannot go around bash people's kneecap...

since i returned to the city, it's been weirdly busy with catching-up stuff.  for a largely underemployed monkey, things should be a bit more sparse, i thought.  however, when it involves people who i dearly care for, i suppose it's a task i would do with much anticipation.  and last night, i was out with one of my favorite people and i may give him a temporary code name: magician. why do i call him a magician? well, first, often people mistake my pronunciation of magician vs. musician.  after all these years in north america, all i need is a bit of tiredness or lack of care, and there it goes, murdering very simple syllables.  and he is a musician who is also capable of casting some serious magic. i swear.  i dont say that lightly.  if youve been reading my writing, at least you would be familiar with the fact that i complain about the general public more than anything...  so i think that name should work for now. anyways, i miss...

it's a thunder moon. full moon of july. the first one after the summer solstice.  i have never been so in-tune with the moon.  it all started when i got to banff last year. the weird inclination to befriend the night, though it always was there, as long as i could remember, really touched me this year.  especially since gabe died.  infectious fever to look up into the night sky. again and again and again. as one cannot sleep, it's only natural to seek the nightly world i suppose- the one that may be pale and a bit far, quiet, almost eerie. even in the middle of the city of three and a half millions. this evening, i tried to keep my consciousness occupied by editing pictures and doing some silly things. things with no deadlines.  things to keep self busy. things that i could place in between the cracks of thoughts, the cracks that bleeds deeply through myself, a pool of grief, much like the tears of earth i walked on during caving adventures, ...

(btw, we are a bit west of this map. but we could see that we came a long way, from shore of ontario!) greetings, i have been away from a normal civilization for awhile.  from the 15th, i have been travelling on this short school bus that is packed with non-conforming 20-30s, most of us being musicians or bohemians of some sort.  it has been a quite an experience, just being on the road for no particular reason. right now, we are perched on the ranch in saskatchewan, where the horse lady is leading the life of grass, earth and horses, of course. it's been quite difficult to get on to the internet and do a proper blog posting, but at least i am able to put up something for today! though it really isnt the right time to post something in detail, as being in the middle of such busy interaction, one's head tends to be full of too many things.  but i am taking notes (analogue datakeeping!), and will be able to sort the thoughts out, as there have ...

i ____ you with smudge of yearning  through the vast space of dark velvety sky  to the brilliant pink of the dawn sun as the warmth of new day graces your window the new lays soaking through the window i slowly raise my snifter of sleep  wrapped with loose blanket of neons could we sink back to the winter evenings bodies and breath embraced weaved exchanged one cocoon with a thin gauze veil of semi-consciousness seeking without desperation newborn puppies without a complex script surviving through their newly weaved invisible net of fragility the haze of summer morning limbs in gentle arcs and bodies in parallel the scent of honeysuckle  lost to the brilliance of the dawn the unabashed beauty of her touches through  unexpectedly guiding me back to  a winter evening as one stood to soak up the mystery of summer solstice as one wishes to be there once again of crisp, snapped piece of winter solstice slow and gentle swing between dark sle...

so this holiday of just about a month or so is near to the end.  well, it feels funny to write about 'holiday,' as it really does not feel like a holiday nor it is a typical holiday.  i am not a passing visitor.  i am not a tourist.  i am no longer unfamiliar with the place and the people. it's a part of monkey points on the map, of several points where she spends a larger chunk of her days.  i dont have to refer to the map to see where i am and i know what time the local shop closes.  i can picture my grocery store's aisles and the local green grocer's display.  the idea of home being where one's heart is, i have several homes and it always gets a little confusing here and there.  it may mean my toronto residence, or my parents place.  it may mean canada or often south korea.  now it also means chinley, uk.  among the sheeples and rolling hills, weaved by wriggly roads, including one of the most dange...

first of july- happy canada day for everyone! but it's kind of silly to designate a date to celebrate a nation i think. the idea of celebrating a nation is great. it's just the arbitrary nature of the exact date i think is a bit silly.  okay, so it is not totally out of the blue as 1867 1 july 1867, the four provinces of nova scotia, new brunswick and quebec and ontario (used to be called the 'canada' province) formed the basis of independent canada as we know it (though the last leg of separation from the british paliament was as late as 1982), but along with the boon of the fourth of july just over the border, it is a quite a big celebration.  if i was back on the branch up in 32nd floor, the sky would be very clear as both countries tend to take the whole week easy and shut down the factories to holiday schedule, hence giving the great lakes region a rare chance to see the sky (not smog). however, at the moment i am still in uk, enjoying a visit that i...

this morning was a strange one for a change.  it is amusing and amazing what depth and surprises the subconscious can hold.  it often is surprising to see what your mind could portray in a dream- i think it is very fortunate certain moments in a dream cannot be caught, as it often include much tabooed ideas and situations.  as an insomniac, i do not get to dream very often, if remember it at all.  often it's just fragmented thoughts that leaves me very puzzled.  however, this morning was graced by rather clear, perhaps too clear of thoughts.  one of those dreams which are even more vivid than the reality. the ones that you almost wish that it was true (well, partially anyways.) sleeping well has been a real nice change from the bustle of the town.  and i am somewhat glad though i woke with enough tears and snots to wonder whether i had a water main problem in my sinus. i have no idea where i was or doing what, but at certain poi...

so another recent even of memorable nature was my first, ahem, car crash. it sounds really important and traumatic, but nothing like the above pic, which is just spectacular. it was sort of traumatic because... i never have crashed onto anything nor have been involved in auto accidents (well there were couple that i got mowed down while on the bike, but i dont think they really count), so it is really a milestone of a kind. i  cant remember exactly when i got my full license but it is +10 years ago. oh boy. i felt as if i should celebrate with popping champagnes and all the jazz as the nascar racers do. well looking at the statistics, this would actually be even rarer than someone winning a car race. ha ha. i certainly hope it'll keep that way, no doubt. the very last time i was driving a stick (as we call it in north america) was about 5 years ago, being the designated drivers for bandwagon of happily trashed graduate students.  on and off, but i did le...