4.3.09

flux day

today's been a rather unsettled, kind of agitated day. not agitated as angry, but just charged with some sort of potential energy that wanted to become kinetic. corners tight, momentum changing, at the point of cusp. it's fourth of march, filled with blue skies, low clouds passing by, little cases of floods all over the random points of ground, wind that is cold one second then enticingly warm the next second. and i am seeing many things from renewed perspective. and yes, there has been some real changes, the kind where you could associate objective numeric values. people leaving, people coming, turning another page on calendar etc.

there are some shocking observations made today earlier, which came to be quite accurate as the day progressed, though i do not think it would be appropriate to discuss other people's situations in my blog. let's say today was the first day that i noticed that this particular person, always jovial, happy, seemed... well, i guess searching, for something, someone. weird vibes, you know. the book bomber was evacuating from sound or noise building, so many were trying to catch him in the morning. my studio is just couple doors down. so me having rat attentions, as i ran back and forth, filling my water bottles etc., naturally i saw peeps who usually arent present at this part of the building. and there was that person, with now a gigantic sign on her head. just screamed out 'monkey, pay attention. and keep paying attention.'

later in the day, total chance, ran into the person again. short chat revealed stress that was sipping from the seams. i asked the person to have a tea with me. first, resistance/causion: oh, no, i dont want to take your time, unless you have time. i always have time. im always late. beside the point.
second later, mental purging.
thirdly, tea was over. the person went off, and i promised that i will be avail. just let me know. or knock, chances are that im already by my door, being rat-like, running to fill up my humidifier, etc.

and how did i not see this before?
and why now? where did all these flux-influences came from all the sudden?

so in a rehearsal, i mentioned to someone about today being a flux day. it was a very simple question: how is your day?
me: flux day.
the other person: oh i know. i sensed that too.
couple hours later, someone different.
me: how goes it?
the other person ii: it's weird, unsettling day.
crazy.

i have been trying to tune in a little more, to be a little more sensitive, but boy i havent had much luck yet. but for some reason, it just came in a little wave once again. how does these instances line themselves and when they decided to all happen, i have no idea. it isnt all the important either.
now it remains to be seen if monkey can retain this so called new trick of sensitivity and actually do something with it. this can be a very useful or dangerous tool. but i will make a point to be active whenever i see an unexpected situations. just to see if i could make a difference. if i dont, or the situation does not requires it, it's all good so who cares. just in case monkey may be handy, you know. if the initiator of this chain of thought (it was a kind suggestion, a sincere one) happened to be reading this, you should be very amused what kind of door you have opened for me. out of all the bottles and cookies rolling around, alice picked one vial, and now she goes to another room, all in reality, but in a different context somehow. i wonder how my life will change from this particular flux day. good luck to me.

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