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Showing posts from March, 2018

logic therefore

from this week's piano lesson: kid: whoa are you a girl or a boy? *interesting, youve never asked before me: why does it matter, and what do you think? kid: i think you are a boy. me: why? kid: your hair is short and your shirt has dinosaur on it. *hmmm time for a curve ball me: what if i put on a wig? kid: the it's a wig? me: but it'll be long? kid: but your hair is short! me: what if i grow it out? kid: then you must be a girl! me: what if i have no hair? kid: that's just granpas! me: so im a grandpa? kid: may be! after all, you have dinosaur on your shirt! me: and dinosaur is a boy thing? kid: yes! me: what about female dinosaurs? kid: there are female dinosaur? me: do you have a mom? kid: yes i do! me: have you seen any living thing that has no mother? *im stretching here kid: no- me: what does that mean then? kid: that dinosaurs are dead! these kids crack me up.

would it still be there?

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today at lesson, we were talking about modern strings (you know, the difference with the gut strings, etc), bow shapes (concave vs convex), and how technology/innovation keeps changing little things and big things. suddenly kid asks seriously: do you think there'll be classical music in 100 years? we then talked about a few things: 1. we might get a few adjustments made in our instruments in western classical music, but very unlike that instruments will change significantly or become obsolete. she was sceptical so we talked about how many people love to play electronic-acoustic instruments ( not many), aversion to some tweaks (like... aversion to carbon fibre instruments),  and the fact that some people just like old things (classical music is an oldie thing) 2. i asked her if she would ever replace her dog with a virtual dog. virtual dog would have some advantages, like... no need to pick up poo, or toilet train, feed, walk it in rain, that it'll never die, etc- she said no,

hullo, you.

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i was looking for something on my hard disc and unexpectedly ran into my brother. it's been 2893 days since we stopped walking together. and for some reason, i have the hardest time remembering the year. i remember that we buried him on 01 may though. it's been so long, but like a water drop on a dark pool, i sat there, resonating. it rippled. for awhile. so fresh yet no longer new. i still cant remember what i was looking for, a day later.

it wasnt a surprise?!

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caravaggio: taking of christ palm sunday was last weekend and now we are in passion week. i always feel a bit bizarre on palm sunday. figuratively and literally, this is the time that we bring that white lamb home, for slaughter. we bring it into the house, and everyone admires it. we even might mentally drool, picturing that lovely lamb chop, glistening from the grilling. and yeah, people waved palms as jesus entered jerusalem. it is exciting. here he is, the dude who will save us all. we will nail him on the cross and let him choke to death. THANKS MAN OOH JAILFREE CARD it's bit weird. people protest meat-eating. for instance, the recent squacking between protesters and meat resto owner in toronto was bit hilarious: https://www.blogto.com/eat_drink/2018/03/antler-restaurant-vegan-protest-toronto/ i think what the owner did was hilarious.  vegans protested as public group on public space. owner did what he does in his resto: carve and cook meat. it&#

logic is logic

*kid and mom walking by, kid enthusiastically eating last bits of chocolate chip cookie (or what's left of it). mom: you know, youve got chocolate all over your face. (makes gesture to wipe face) kid: yes, you know what? (licking every finger) mom: what? (passing interest) kid: i had a chocolate chip cookie (super serious) mom: urrrr yes (stunned) i died laughing.

plastic spoon ghosts and pitiful earth day

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it was earth day yesterday, and people went around with candles and turned their light off. people, as group, felt proud for it. and starbucks just committed for development of more environmentally-friendly disposable cup. people, as a group, felt proud for it. there's a taiwanese place near by the ymca. and i go there for a quick lunch at times. and for every meal, they provide the usual: 1. bento box (plastic-widely recycled) 2. disposable chopsticks (garbage) 3. chopstick wrapper (paper-widely recycled) 4. plastic spoon (plastic-widely recycled) 5. napkins (green bin) 6. styro cup for water (plastic no. 6, only 39% recycleable) 7. plastic bag for takeaway (so many types that it's usually cost-inefficient to recycle) 8. bubble tea cup (plastic-widely recycled) 9. bubble tea lid (plastic-widely recycled) 10. straw for bubble tea but here, i dont think anything gets recycled at this resto most customers are bay corridor student residents. it's quite chea

how much salt in that dinner last night..?

this morning, i could barely open my eyes because 1. i wanted to sleep a bit more, 2. my face was so bloated. i tend to make my lunch-dinner (usually happens around 1030pm or so, after i get back home) and though i do end up eating out more than i think i should, because eat-outs tend to be smaller snacks, i dont think it has huge impact on my body (as much), as during the day time, the constant movement, if im lucky, a shortie run, drinking water and going to the bathroom, all these things keep the excess salt out of the system before i go to bed. but we had a late-ish roomie din out last night, and though i consciously drank loads water (knowing that i cannot fit in my regular morning run because first call was TOO EARLY- headdesk), by the time i woke up, my face was so swollen it was almost comical. eating the 'wrong thing' the night before always does my body in, and when i ate silly and i cannot sneak in a short session of gym in the morning (preferably before noo

nothing new yet incredibly enraging

today, out of the blue, i heard about others' experience in their first year at the univ. there are lots of good stories, but this time, we unfortunately talked about being pushed into the new world of social interactions and testing of personal boundaries. and yes, it did involve girls being forced into situations where the boys with swagger take advantages of them. for all who may retort back and say 'yeah but the boys are also taken advantage of,' i just want to remind myself and to others, that it's not about making the 'parties' to be treated 'equally (bad).'  i just happened to hear about cis-gender girls specifically who has been taken advantage by cis-gender boys. when i first came to uni, it was also very much like so. but after almost two decades, i thought we may be better as a group; im not terribly disappointed, but rather, i was quite enraged. girls, even in G-20 countries, are taught to be helpful, coorporative and agreeable. and t

oh crap sorry i do know you and actually like you even *bang head on wall

sometimes we define others by one's own context (rather than reminding self of the bigger picture).  for instance, there's a cashier lady i quite like at my local metro and she works the graveyard shift.  she's from phillipines and she often would like to go to faraway places (havent done much of it), and we both wondered my pint of halo ice cream would be any good at all the other night (it wasnt, for me). http://www.stack.com/a/is-halo-top-ice-cream-actually-healthy and then there's a gym neighbour who is beautiful, and she works out in the morning. i know her name, and that she works at the bay, and that she's got elderly mother back in europe (i want to say hungary). and she likes opera. we often talk about COC and other musical productions. and today, while working a tech shift, this young man who needed a loaner mic said, 'thanks, cecilia.' for bizarre reason, rather than thinking it through, i said, 'how do you know me?' and he said his

jamaica: mobay route taxi

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at the taxi depot in montego bay, they have this 'route' taxis.  bit like mini-buses, these sedan/minivan cabs have their regular route on the front door of the car, and you just hop on and off anywhere on the route.  that's the public transit here. btw, GDP per capita for jamaica was 4862 USD (2016) and for canada, 42,157 USD. for lack of better/common measurement, a canadian is 8 times wealthier than a jamaican (per capita). that's shocking. anyhow, back to route taxis, they cost 100 jamaican dollars for ride (1 CAD/80 cents USD) and if you have backpack, it's extra 50 JD. i think kids were also at half price. so people pile in at the depot, and the car leaves when the seats are full. i have seen similar things for regional transit in uzbekistan- in fact, that was the only way to leave samarkand to get to dushanbe, tajikistan (like 9 hours taxi ride). and you simply flag it down when you need to get into one. i always rode in from the taxi depot, as it w

back to the freeze

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dump up beach, montego bay so last few days, i was at the tropic of cancer. the sun rises at 630am, everyday. it sets around 630pm, everyday. the big dipper is perpendicular to the horizon. the sunsets are super short, nothing lingers, it just drops into the water. when i said i am going to montego bay, and not doing an all-inclusive, lots of people worried for me, as it's supposedly very dangerous.  apparently it's been so bad that the rich cruise ships now dock at ocho rios or negril, to avoid the possible violence. and it is true, many G-20 embassies did send out travel warnings.  my eyebrows did do a wrinkle, but i thought, hey, if things get bent, i will just drag my visa card and stay at an all-inclusive.  so i went, with a 28L backpack, to my little hostel holiday. montego bay was a familiar scene. many people walking around, the roads are full of cars, intense driving and honking. the children and teenagers in uniforms are going to school. internet on pho

truncated (to) day

tis been an interesting day, filled with random thoughts. 1. shakepeare is totally boring when you study it in highschool. i mean, average 13-years olds havent had their life shattered yet properly (ex. real irreversible loss, irrecoverable mistake/fault, etc), and without that, how are you understand 'pain?'  no wonder people (including me) all the sudden re-find shakepeare (and other writers/artists/musicians/dancers) well-after high school. as march is full of snow flecks here, and im really thinking about packing my bag for the southern journey, all i can think of is: now is the winter of our discontent- (richard iii, act 1, scene 1) https://www.theguardian.com/stage/video/2016/feb/01/david-morrissey-richard-iii-now-is-the-winter-of-our-discontent-shakespeare-solos-video 2. i really dislike use of capital letters. especially the pronoun 'I.' what is the smallest letter in the entire alphabet series, with emphasis on the self, it elongates itself, thin and wispy, tr

(lack of) hair cut compliments

in last two weeks, i got real compliments on my haircut. the truth is, however, that it actually havent had any cuts since... like... december. i like my hair quite short, or rather, i like not seeing any hair on the floor (mine/others').  the weird yet expected hair bunnies in public places (in the hallways, staircases, subway corridors, etc.) kind of freak me out. as it must be composed of so many people's hair- hair that grew on/from the body, and now discarded, most of them unknowingly, and somehow, lone hairs finds one another, and form this mass of body that is big enough to... 'tumble weed' (yeah, like a verb...) anyhow.  after that late-in-the-year cut in december, i usually leave my hair to grow. and it goes through phases. it mustve went through weeks where it looks untidy, no matter what you do with it.  the sides are too short, the front isnt long enough to stay out of the way, so things are stuck down with hair product to keep eyes intact, etc.  bu

count. count. count.

i constantly measure+count things. especially units-in-between stuff. for example: there are 24 days left till end of the school year, and that is 16 work/weekdays. that's 1 holiday (good friday), 2 sundays and 3 saturdays. the end is near, whoo. i constantly convert musical notes into numbers, to remind myself what the real differences are:  for instance, if i go from triplet to quads,  that's going from 1/3 to 1/4,  meaning 0.34-0.25 = 0.09,  which will almost round up to 10%. and when you are 10 dollars short of 100 bucks, in north america, you cant exactly bargain for impromptu 10% off. when my music's in mostly 8th notes, i probably obsessively re-cut in 16th and quarters. i do like re-arranging all my basic units within one-degree difference (so for quarters, practice in half notes and sixteenths; for 16th notes, cut it in 8th and 32nds, etc). i try to run 5k a day, 5 times a week.   5 k is approx. 3.1miles, so for me to properly fit it into a

march is still cold

it's march and it's still cold. it's always like that- frustrating. hard to believe february passed us by already, though while it was here, it seemed to linger forever. it's the light, it's the warmth, that lets us stretch out our limbs and shake that stiff back out, and sometimes, when the morning is bright and air is cold, my little room becomes a hothouse, for the morning, the sun heating up the little room toasty. i have book a random trip for next thursday departure.  when i was booking it, i thought may be i am possessed- a trip away, in middle of the school year? perhaps i am possessed, a quest for the reminder, that life isnt always so cold and grim. that there is an option, to get away, or even to get away in one's mind. it's hilarious to see people shiver while walking down the street, simply because i assume theyve done the same that i have done- as soon as the day 'high' reaches 0-5'c, somehow, we over

time that loses its walls

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i dont know how it's already 09 march. in 26 min, it would become 10th! that means 33% of march is already done for... on last hallmark holiday mark, on 14 feb, i was watching ian bostridge and julius drake weave magic with songs. i cant believe soon, that would be a month ago. and today, i went to hear four teachers at the faculty talk about 'life' to the young'uns.  and i tried to imagine (briefly) how i saw life when i was in their age- when i was in 1st year, i wasnt even in music program. and it's literally 20 years ago that i came to university (in september though!). where did those 20 years go? there are many ways to measure the time, i suppose. counting, generally works- how many degrees? how many cities have i lived in? how many places have i visited? how donuts have i eaten since i joined the university culture? how many recitals? but i guess we count, because we all know that impressions of important days are too personal to make it an objective mark

womens' day and mom's soup

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today, i get to have evening off to... housework! and knowing that i have to dot around the house, i bought some vegs on way home to make dinner. i bought some big, fat, short korean radish, and some sliced rice cakes. i diced the radish in big chunks, threw them all into the pot that is at least 20 years old, tossed in a chunk of beef that's been patiently waiting in the fridge for a week, one single garlic (bruised), two bay leaves, some potatoes, lotsa celery and threw in some water and fish sauce. put it on medium-low heat. lid on. i sweep the floor and meanwhile soaked a handful of rice cakes in cold water. by the time i finish sweeping, the pot is humming with scent. i open it up, toss in the rice cakes on top, so it will steam. turn the heat down to low. i fold some socks that's been rolling around the bottom of the drawer. do some email. and when i return to the pot, the dinner was ready. some sea salt and grinded pepper and i serve myself a bowl. the

repetition. many. no walls.

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one day back in december, i was forever fidgeting with my phone during a meeting. terrible, i know. online. offline. online. login. reboot. check. recheck. sigh. repeat. after 14 hours of that, around 2am, i got what i wanted: two tickets to art gallery. but seriously, when was the last time a big town went mad about an art exhibition? well, this one, wherever it goes, it sells out. funny enough, once you start to pay attention, there are many exhibitions that sells out- i literally have to fight in line to get self into steve mcqueen, and i have followed exhibitions on their 'tour course.'  this was one of them. today, me and a good friend embarked on the madness that is yayoi kusama: inifinity mirrors. the arts were playful, weird, and people were also weird, playful; perhaps more so than the actual exhibition. her life is full of 'flashes of light, auras, or dense field of dots,' and talking flowers and morphing prints. being one of the hottes

the distinctive faces with 'that' expression

another thought i had browsing through the academy award photos is that so many of the faces now have the 'sameness' to it. the gender didnt matter, but so-called characterful faces (perhaps coupla years ago?) are now frozen in that same plastic smile. i understand that initially botox treatment started in effort to get rid of wrinkles, because, well, most of human civilization do value 'youth' quite highly (nevermind the spring chicken mistakes that we all experience as youth, HAHA)(suppose that the value is in the 'fleeting nature' of the youth, that no one, even one of the greatest and richest emperors, qin shi huang, wasnt able to live 'forever,' though why would one would like to live forever is beyond my little scope at all).  and wrinkles, therefore, became evil. *insert a weak voice of wrinkle: 'but i didnt do anything-' *muffling and shuffling and dragging to the back into a backstage somewhere- and so then the botox came around

pact: here comes a post a day project...

hello blog, it's been a good long while. it's been a bit crazy and i did take on another long-term project: writing in local music website.  but i did feel guity- as if i was cheating on a bestie. and you are a bestie. i remember the ritual of writing everyday, on dinner table, under watchful eye of mom, who insisted that EVERYDAY is a diary entry day. i realize not all things in life- especially in my life, it's not likely to be grand. things are small, personal and therefore, intimately interesting. so here i am, making a pact with you. i will write 100-words entry a day. imma really gonna try to stick by it. because there are so many things that cannot be expressed in pictures, even in the days of instagram and selfies. the thought of the day: it was oscars last night and i was amused that: 1. despite of the proposed idea of 'creative' people party, oscars dress-ups always look so same. theme and variations. and people do goo-gaah over the standard outfits. i t