good night, dear lady.

measuring the passage of time, it is so easy to become fixated on a particular point of view- of one's own. i often look into my calendar and think about what ' i ' need to do.  occasionally, i am reminded of the vastness of this world, never-stopping, gently undulating ocean, through the news that comes through the resilient spider-silk communication of people i love.

i always wish that i reach out to others as much as i reach inward for self. i dont, always.  i lose perspective and get myopic about self-centred events, forgetting the most important concept- that i exist only within the context of the world.

and often, the news are surprising, filling the day with many hues of thoughts.

today, i read that a friend from nebraska days finally concluded her journey with cancer.  regrets came like waves. like bitter, angry, north winter wind.  a maelstrom of  'wished, couldve, shouldve...'

as i get older, often, i can measure the passage of time through loses.  of things that will never be, again. of persons that will never see again. of transformation of future-plans and hopes into impossible reach into imaginations only.  the weight of it does not get lighter, like sinking another stone into gentle fine sand dune, the losses simply accumulate, for me to keep, to my heart, which will grow larger with these loves that is now fixed, no longer thriving.  so i go on to fill my life with stories and lives. overflowing.

like a leaf, she left, quietly, lightly,
riding up the upward cusp of bleak barren winter,
light gets a bit longer, bit warmer,
over the huddled shoulders against the wind,
when the warmth touches my back,
i will smile, for your presence and friendship,
as i carry you in my heart.
good night, sheri erickson.


february is month of anger?

following the vegan/veg post of yesterday, today i ran into whole bunch of angry posts on crackbook regarding an article where a mom 'blogged' how expensive and useless music education/teachers are (this article is now several years old). of course, many of my crackbook acquaintances are in the music 'business.' as you can imagine, the posts were full of frustration, anger and even condemnation.

'how dare you... you ignorant!'

as much as i can try to sympathize, it is true that
1. whatever the service may be, whatever the prices may be, there will be some complaints.  okay, so someone thinks music lessons are too expensive. what's so new about that?  oil-changes are expensive. so are dentists. what about hockey practices? things are expensive and that's always been the case. if you dont like it, it'll always be expensive.  jarlsberg is expensive, but i will be buying that cheese in future. cuz it's tasty.  so then it's not really all-that-expensive...

2. lady makes a touchy point about 'those who cannot, teaches': now, not all teachers are non-performers. however, there are many people who 'ends' up teaching to pay the bills. there's nothing wrong about that, trust me. the challenge is that people do feel bitter about not performing (more) and only teaching (this, i have seen; let's be honest here) and with that, along comes apathy... yes, it is incorrect statement, however, it is somewhat true that 'those who cannot play nor teach, becomes really bad teachers.'  if i got a dollar for every time someone moaned about 'having to go teach bratty kids,' i would be not so quite poor.

3. the angry opinions are of so-called liberal-educated, many of them in grad schools. the whole aim of liberal education, according to wellesley college mission statement, is:

... we bring to the liberal arts tradition two sets of skills that foster future success: effective communication and deft management of "human systems." clear speaking and writing comes with the organized thinking required to persuasively represent and defend a point of view...

so seeing many people making so many post full of inflexibility- well, ironically is an illustration of how ineffective people with liberal-education certifications may be.

yeah, okay, it's touchy issue. however, with so much anger, i think it only adds to illustrate that perhaps, liberal education and mastery of intellectual and cultural content is an endless journey, always so close yet so far. if anyone thinks im pulling a nasty punch on others, im sorry, i just found the whole thing... hilarious.

good night, world
*hides from dirty looks.


fill it up with your favourite things!

few of my friends love mod. i find it tad weird.
few of my friends love cheese. the other few wrinkle their nose.
i like salted and fermented fish bits. usually people run away.
few of my friends love classical music. the other few loves metal.
i cannot wear colour purple. few of my friends look killer in purple.
few of my friends always order beer. the others, wine. even cocktail.
few of my friends are vegans.
few of my friends are vegetarians.
few of my guy friends like guys.
few of my girl friends like girls.
one friends of mine was a he now a she.
and this is what my world is made out of, differences.
it is alright to be passionate about one's preferences.
it is alright to stand by one's conviction.

justice is a blind deity,
a personal choice is not a public matter of discussion
(unless highly illegal or infringing on another's rights),
it is bit silly to escalate these differences into violence,
name calling, finger-pointing and bigotry.

one of my friends stated she's turning vegan tomorrow, may be.
hey people, if you cant send support (as it is not easy thing to do, after all, so many things taste great, vegan or non-vegan), may be at least hold onto the antagonism... after all, what she eats is her preference.

okay, so they say we ate meat and cooked food, which helped us to speedtrack through evolution. i believe this. at this point though, most of us do not do hard-core labour, not all of us needs the calories (nevermind the fact that some child-bringing does create some interesting offsprings as citizens), and there are enough wealth in the G-20 countries to find enough pleasure in vegan context. in heterosexual context. in homosexual context. in vegetarian context. you name it. we are wealthy, which allows us to have choices.


let others make choices.
you make your own choice.
be ready to accept the choice,
unless, of course, if it infringes on another's rights to exist
(the very reason i wont be watching any of sochi olympics broadcast would be russian govt policy re: homosexuality; it wont change anything, but there's something about taking the stand, in my little own head)...

what a (silly) world we live in.