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Showing posts from February, 2011

audition season: worse than mating season?

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this wk has been full of events, people, things to do, to organize, and to dream of.  minnow is visiting toronto for a week and it's the first time that he's flown into the chaos and the excitement known as life of a freelancer. it amazes me sometimes how many quick turns i need to make during one day to make things work. dont get me wrong, it wont take much to just get through the day. but it always leaves a rather unclean feelings in one's mouth- doing things for the sake of getting it done and no more. so what is about this freelancer life that is hectic? well, let me at least clarify that i am no the kind of person who takes all work that comes in my way.  mind you, i like to work, but you see, this freelancer world can be quite brutal: survival of... the aggressive? one of the particularly funny thing is that because there is so many students who are experiencing something that is very new: audition, there are many questions that pops into the day that is a bit silly

dis, quand reviendras-tu?

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it's been rather cold in yyz for last couple days. but the upswing of it is that when it's really really cold like now, as soon as the sun comes out, the whole city is glowing, with super sharp edges. the wind makes your nose run, your eyes are half closed or squinting the whole time because it is so bright, and top of your ears are... well, frozen. and yet, it is possible to enjoy the crispness of it. just like the ice particles under one's feet, walking from/to a place to another, hard, super-focused wintry sensations. last couple posts have been somewhat introspective if a touch depressing. however, like most things in life, i feel that things are on the move again and that it's another cusp point to upward. just like how i imagine the young bulb shoots must look like back in english home.  little green tips pushing through the cracks of the dark soil. what a hopeful sight. i recently bought a recording- of my two favorite aritists, anne sofie von otter and brad

singular and indivisible

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city is quiet, it's saturday evening. i am wrapping up the left overs of the wk now so i can head up and see my parents and granny for lunar new year's.  well, that's a bit of weird thing to say isnt it- i dont need a reason to go see them. i should just go see them because i do.  because we are connected.  as i am still connected to my wee brother despite the fact he is no longer alive.  as i am connected to my blue rabbit, also named 'wee,' who may appear to be a simple fluff to the untrained eyes. as i am connected to minnow who is far away, over 5500 km.  another night, separated, full of wintry weather- snow and quick wind. i can almost sense the coming snow- that cold scent on tip of the nose.  it's not here yet. but it'll be. my best friend here in toronto is gone to see his friends.  the house is empty.  soon, i will be out of the door as well.  it's a weird feeling to be so alone in such a big place, where there is enough energy to keep one

...'cause the circus left town

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v =veGF9Vjo_IE it's lunar new year.  another circle around the sun, carefully counted by the quiet moon.  though in my year in banff, i have learned that moon, when she wants to, can speak clearly and brightly, changing the entire world by turning it into millions of shades in monochrome.  and in yyz, the last day of last year was full of snow, where the wind carried them upward, against the fall of gravity- snow wasnt falling. it was blowing. flying. anything but settling. i called briefly to wish my family a happy new year. in midst of the daily grind, we spoke briefly, wishing the best,  using only plain words, nothing extravagant or elaborate.  perhaps all we wanted to say is that (i) love (you).   it's quite unsettling time for many different things.  but then since i have finished my last degree, things havent been settled really, so it's really not a surprise.  rather than growing a root in a place and nurturing all the little roots th

let the blue sprinkled february begin!

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tis february! the most depressing month of the year (or so i hear) is here... for next 28 days.  hooray. it's been new music festival! kiddie concerto competitions! amusements and collectible tools everywhere! come and get your pick from the lot! there's been some amusing things recently. "have (monkey) every play elgar cello concerto reduction?" : reduction? is it tasty? "i would like to thank... urr what's your name?" : strike that cymbals on drumset. inst, shake head. "i dont know whether or not you already know this but-" : this is well-educated high school speech? "- you can't just yell at me-" "okay, then (hang up)" : well, that is efficient eh? "i never start on time!" : and that's good? "btw, i dont think i want to pay that much-" (end of a rehearsal) : hmm that did leave me speechless "do you know who i am?" : does it matter? and no, i dont, and i dont really... wanna...