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Showing posts from April, 2011

year gone by, a thick oil flow

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close up from: dig down dig up, 2004 by helgi h jaltalins ejolfsdorfs http://youtu.be/KqfQ7Ob0sxU a year has run off through my fingers, like thick oil flow. i tried to grasp withering and passing thoughts, brilliant at the peaks yet so quick to perish.  i thought of many things and a few of them has left themselves as hard, dormant seeds in my mind, waiting for time- to spring up, break through the thick husk, to grow, to carry on.  somewhere along the line, i have lost a few things and i wonder what other things i may have lost and just never realized. or have not realized yet. i have wiped peoples' tears and i shed a few, trying to contain the little wells of sorrows that sprung up from the bottom of my heart- but they overflowed. gracing down my face, onto the void, where all sorrowful thoughts go.  perhaps waiting to be covered with dust, to be dried up.  i have put away things then opened boxes that has been forgotten, rediscovering the quiet yet vivid thoughts that wait

draining of the dam

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i was going to look up to see why the city feels funny this evening.  well, then i realized exactly why- it's another full moon.  with weather like today- we had hail, flurry, slit, rain at 45' angle, sunshine, everything, it is impossible not to look up when everything suddenly look crisp clear.  yep, it's rather cold for april as well.  egg moon for the april.  this year, it falls on tomorrow. last year, it fell on 28 april 2010. on that egg moon of 2010, i was waiting for you, gabe.  in kelowna. in a bizarre hotel room where everything looked slick yet it clearly wasnt up to the class it wanted to be. like the wall that looks okay until you realize something isnt at the right angle or something. the wall that's been repainted from another batch of paint. your friends were quietly talking amongst themselves and mike dropped into the conversation. i was probably writing.  desperately. 356 days ago. identification.  i met you in a complete silence on 28th. as ev

rainy day wriggly thought

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  as soon as rain touches the ground and we see puddles, there they come, wiggly icky worms. mostly moving in straight direction, to where- i wonder? leisurely strolls on the ground, only when the sun isnt out, perhaps a bit surprised about the air above the dirt- on the pavements, sidewalks,  nothing rushes them or worries them. just little water drops (enormous for them!), gliding down their round body. glistening with the bits of life-giving water, my little wee bro used to pick them up, gently then hold it in both hands, cupped, a child's treasure, and he would simply say: oh it's so pretty. look. with no eyes, no danger foreseen- no pedestrians, no bicycles, not even cars. without being chased by the visual madness of the rainy day, as everyone holds up another limb with stretched effort against the rain, often swaying hopelessly against the gutsy wind, worms continue,  slow stroll,  skin embraced by the gentled, muted light of the rainy day. i pick my foot up, one

11 months and 11 days

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hello wee bro! hope you are chillin'well while monkey's been burning 12 hours days. well, i know, i should be better organized but i do have to say that some family chores ate up some serious hours as well this week.  me and dad finally made an appointment at the cemetery to order your grave monument.  never i thought i would be taking the york transit bus on a freezing cold day to meet dad at the cemetery to discuss the 'aesthetics' (they say) or 'costs' (as i say) haha.  but that's what needed to happen. did you know that you cant even really just walk into the cemetery for these things? there has been line ups, i was told. crazy. i never knew. correction. i never have thought about. mom's been quite anxious about getting your 'name card,' she really wanted to have one done by your first anniversary.  and well, it'll be a little late, as it's been 11 months and 11 days (coincidence.  you know i like symmetry eh?) and it will take appr

whirlwind of april

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i remember looking at the calendar, thinking: hmm what is google going to do this year for april fool's gag? well, funny enough i still havent found out, though i hear in the wind that they were trying to encourage people to use 'slow' internet to save the bandwidth or something, haha.  but seriously, it's already 4th of april- where did the time go?  it's been rather busy though- last week, i was busy playing the hero, rescuing a concert from cancellation- a pianist had an injury and so i was called in on monday to play on thursday. it makes me feel a bit silly that now i can actually say 'yeah, i will do it'- couple years ago, i wouldve been shivering at the very thought. and then couple other things- recording, playing, editing, general freelancing and the logistics housework that comes with it.  i feel like saying 'no' to some things yet i know that i have open summer coming up so i may as well enjoy it i suppose!  and with this newly built &