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Showing posts from January, 2010

lay your sleeping head, my love: auden

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Lay your sleeping head, my love, Human on my faithless arm; Time and fevers burn away Individual beauty from Thoughtful children, and the grave Proves the child ephemeral: But in my arms till break of day Let the living creature lie, Mortal, guilty, but to me The entirely beautiful. Soul and body have no bounds: To lovers as they lie upon Her tolerant enchanted slope In their ordinary swoon, Grave the vision Venus sends Of supernatural sympathy, Universal love and hope; While an abstract insight wakes Among the glaciers and the rocks The hermit's sensual ecstasy. Certainty, fidelity On the stroke of midnight pass Like vibrations of a bell, And fashionable madmen raise Their pedantic boring cry: Every farthing of the cost, All the dreadful cards foretell, Shall be paid, but not from this night Not a whisper, not a thought, Not a kiss nor look be lost. Beauty, midnight, vision dies: Let the winds of dawn that blow Softly round your dreaming head Such a day of sweetness show Eye and k

rainy murmur

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everything is hanging in bare thread it feels, that i cannot make anyone truly happy nor keep my own self happy. at this point im hoping to stay inoffensive, cause less trouble and that really isnt adding much to the world is it? it seems as if im committed to waste my life in sense of unfulfilled hope or continuous lament and it is also surprising to me: how did i get here? it's another day of gentle spring rain here. with taste of the winter still lingering over, as the low chimneys of the old houses are breathing out the warm wet humid clouds from their hot innards, breathing, consuming, bearing the winter out, through and through, season after season. in the midst of grey and brown of stones, aged in silence and stories of generations and generations, there are hint of new greens shooting up, ever so hopefully, along the cracks of the stone walls, on the tree barks, on the tips of the fragile, once dead branches. one of the very first signs of spring, or shall i say glimpse o

crossing over

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finally i went to see avatar 3D today. first time we went, it was sold out, literally about 5 people before our turn to get the bloody tickets. today, we thought the afternoon time should work great- well, it took them about 20 min to figure their damned system, so once again, it took a while. i was going to seriously laugh it was to be cancelled. but no. it did roll and for 3 hours i was deeply touched. one may wonder, what is so different? the story board is quite simple- the polarized good-evil, the inferences made to the idea of conquests, vietnam references, cross-race love story, etc. nothing very new, just very well weaved. in fact the stark contrast between the navi's and humans were almost comical. but as all exaggerated stories do, there was much room, the gaps in between, for the true feelings to mix in. wider the range is, the more one is able to pour one's own experiences into it. simple CGI move becoming a work of art. the cusp point of mixing the two separate

where to?

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it's been awhile since i wrote anything on this space. it's probably because i had no space in my head to begin with, no room to really let things permeate and grow. the verdicts from the dementors were in last week as i have visited the school during the preview day, where you go and do the meet-and-greet kind of things. during lunch we were served some lunch and the most interesting thing of the day was this very peculiar white fried thing. i still cant tell whether it was supposed to be: a. chicken fingers b. fish finger c. fried cheese it is not a good situation! i have made the 'cut' however i didnt really make the cut as i simply do not have 15,000 pounds for the tuition alone. there's always this difficulty as an international student. i understand the idea that the local or domestic students have already contributed through their heritage- their parents, grandparents and such, through the tax system that made the institution and the history/culture of a p

winterreise vignettes

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post-audition bum monkey have been wandering for no good reason at all in the small town of chinley - and is experiencing entirely different winter than a year ago. instead of big rocky mountains, i am surrounded with gentlest hills. though completely a different place, with even a different clock running, there is that winter scent- icy, clear, hint of chimney smoke. it's a luxury and i am saturated with snow and grey-blues. in such pale palette, i think of various people and cant be helped but be really warmed by their vibrant presences. much grace and thanks for you all. with no one watching, the birds are quiet, perched on branches, holding onto every minute, with their wiry claws, they await, for the spring to return, as surely, as much as cutting the northern wind is, it must turn around and come back to south. once straight to the sky, the green buds are now curled with whimsical history of winter, slightly irregular and brittle, they are not the same, alas, however display

popped balloon@MAN

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today i was to set out to geneva to see dear peeps. planned a bit ago, i thought it would be a perfect timing to start out the year, post-audition, to take an advantage of u.k. location. and from the very first mention of it, the plan took a shape quite rapidly and all the sudden, i was en route to the land of fondue, swiss-army knives and ridiculously good chocolates (though the belgians also do justice to cacao products, yes). ah well, forget it, it could have been land of- ooh i dont know, shoes-leather-tanning industry, but i would have gone happily anyways because i wanted to be with people. who, all the sudden, seemed a lot closer. plane tickets were well-priced. and i got my papers in order. all i had to was show up at the terminal, as usual dull air travel protocol. after a quite a fizzy drive to the airport and the lovely security checks (it was no pain at all! im getting too good at packing), there i was, on the hub, just waiting for the gate number. then came half hour

mein fuhrer

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  i told you that it is the hitler cat. not a hitler cat. THE hitler cat. i dare you to piss it off and goering will be on your ass. new post will be up soon... love to you all! :)

crosby beach

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ONE’S-SELF I sing— a simple, separate Person; Yet utter the word Democratic, the word En-masse. Of Physiology from top to toe I sing; Not physiognomy alone, nor brain alone, is worthy for the muse—I say the Form complete is worthier far; The Female equally with the male I sing. Of Life immense in passion, pulse, and power, Cheerful—for freest action form’d, under the laws divine, The Modern Man I sing. (walt whitman) today i went to the sea with mr. salamander with sole intention of going to see the sea. crosby beach holds 100 man figurines, each weighing 650kg. will write more about it, but at the moment, of life immense, the modern man i sing. of life immense, the humanistic elements of my- and our lives, i sing. love to you all.

dementors seen in muggle world ( ! )

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it is 1540 greenwich mean time on 07.01.10, meaning audition day is over. lots of commotion during the day including panel member switches, last minute singers, train breaking down everywhere thanks to the cold spell, then car mishaps and all sorts of little unexpected mishaps. the original plan of heading to crosby beach after the audition did not materialize as sunset begins at 1600 and we would have not made it on time. and the auditions were both rather subpar and i am very sure unless i could find an employment of some sorts, i am on a short loan in europe and will be heading back to north america by springtime. why such a negativity, monkey? well, it's not a negativity. it's really an objective point of view. i totally got sacked in my audition. i prepped as much as i would like to (not as much as i could have, true) and set off early enough to deal with the logistics etc. kindly mr. salamander was being a big help during the whole process. including being my transpo

sightly or slightly uneasy?

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so tomorrow is the day of audition for royal northern college of music. in about twelve hours, it will be all done and over with, and with absolutely no self-prediction, it will lead to the next bits of whatever-may-come. about a year ago, i would have never thought that i would be doing a cold audition in uk, never mind being re-inspired by music. after a very exhilarating year which includes a bit of preparation for this particular occasion, i cant help but to feel a little damp about the whole situation. slightly apprehensive. disconcerting. inciting. what does it mean to 'apprehend?' well, it's two words put together: ad (-to) + prehendere (seize) 'to seize (the mind)' and meanwhile the french took it with a grain of hope (modern french 'apprehendre'(to learn, to be informed about), the english took it with a bit of bite (to seize- legally; to arrest) in 15th century. 'disconcert' is even better: dis (the opposite of) + concerter (to bring t

meyer lemon snow

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the hills around monkey home 01-03, 2010 is covered with generous amount of snow. though i was told apologetically that uk does not get much snow- no, nothing like canada, they say, this is quite a bit. it came. over. the night. blanket. perhaps about 20cm. schools and government offices are closed. grind to halt. it's the wet, compacting snow. huge flakes, heavy ones that falls right through, no weaving in and out about. with all those grey and white around, however, i have received a pale yellow, meyer-lemon- wrapped- in- white- tissue- paper coloured postcard in the mail, with a little sketch of a hand holding a flower, by picasso. have you had encountered real meyer lemons? they are quite special little guys. they arent exactly just lemons. found, collected from china, then replanted in the states, meyer lemons are cross between lemons and sweet citrus- probably mandarins. unlike boisterous big, thick-skinned real lemons, they are very thin and smooth skinned and rather swee

cat feeding in silence

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hello world. meet basil, the hitler cat. who managed to piss of 1/2 of its owner, well, actually the other half of the whole owner by hopping houses here and there. so what's with basil? monkey's been very lucky to have two practice facilities this winter all the way in england. this wk, dear friends who are away visiting in wales at the moment left the keys to the door so as long as the door works, i am free to go back and forth and play/practice/moan/feed the cat. yesterday it took about half hour to sort the door out- somehow while taking the key out from the deadbolt, i have managed to lock it so that i could no longer open it from the inside. so it required 1. giving up (on the idea that i will be able to 'undo' whatever i 'did') 2. locate the alternative route out (the back door from the kitchen) 3. find the keys to the back door (from myriads of keys hanging) 4. go out and open the door with the key from the outside (cold!) 5. test it out so that it

winged monkey business

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it was three weeks ago today that banff residency fall 2009 had its final day, 12 12 2009. the last symmetrical day of the first decade of the twenty-first century shoot everyone like hot popped corns, to random directions all over. we all went back to places, pre-destined and mostly familiar. but nevertheless, changed without hope of true reversal. one cannot return back to a particular point of time. memories are imperfect. we all fill it in with wishes, hopes or/and despair. so comes that weird banff-family effect. the passengers of the voyage, especially the long ones, always end up bleeding onto one another, much like the water colour blobs on paper, slowly infusing and changing. no longer such clear edges nor lone isolated colour. at this point, certain readers may be very tired of this banff rant. i know, ive done it almost a year now. incredibly so. and i still have not ran out of things to say. and just to let you know, it's probably far from being over- it'll alw