a day in the life of piano monkey

as i try to not to shed a tear for myself, i became mute, deaf and blind. how is it an idea becomes so much larger in its absence? often one hears about the sum of the parts being larger but we seldom express the parts being larger once the sum have been broken into pieces, unequal, no longer compatible. if one were to say that there are no reason to be crushed by the daily churn, then i assume that one lives with heart of plastic. recycle, reuse, reduce- it is a noble idea for the planet, however not ideal for living, breathing being. life is messy and warm, bloody and inconvenient. the elation of life is not free, never it has been freely given to one without reason or cost. while gliding through lucidity, it is difficult to remember that there will be times to fall with all acceleration from the very height that made it all possible.

short day full of movements, momentum, while the sun barely shines with it pale near-winter-solstice light, i am a lone fish weaving through constellation connections of faraway thoughts and people, icy clear stream of lights against black depthless vast sky. like the lightest smallest snowflake outside, i am hanging, moving, as the wind takes me. the grande pause, just after a big cadence, a small stepping stone before a new movement's start, murky water slowly settling down the finest mud, i am learning to wait, savouring every bits of my thoughts, the whirlwind of love, wishes, wants, of things that i suck on with dry mouth, like real dark cacao. smallest squares, staining not only the tongue, but of the heart, bittersweet, to the ends of my capillaries. feeling each grain of such beauty against my mouth, i am permeated by the stillness of the night, await recall retouch inhale exhale in the midst of festive pub, air saturated joie de vivre, i take the first step, a winterreise...