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Showing posts from February, 2012

letter to my youngest kiddies

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dear four little monkey-coached kiddies: i am so sorry i missed our lessons this week.  i tried my best to stay in shape to see you and share things, especially music, but my oral surgery is healing rather slowly and with such pain, i was not able to teach properly that evening. i thought about taking more medication and showing up to teach. yes, that would have been one way of showing my dedication to your music lessons.   however, i was not physically prepared and i could not take more medication as i took the maximum dosage prescribed. i wonder what this cancellation meant to me as well as you.  for me, i broke my words. things do happen in life and we all need to make adjustment, but it was a difficult decision to make for me- to make last minute change.  i wonder how you guys felt when you found out the lessons were cancelled- do tell me next week, i want to hear your opinions. perhaps we could think about each one’s commitment to one’s own actions and activities.  i love wo

canned cocktail wiener found in walter hall

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today, walter hall was hosting a special event for violists: heidi castleman masterclass. she teaches at juilliard and yes, i think it is quite exciting to play for a different teacher- you can take away so much with you, the inspiration, technical knowledge, a new emotional dimension, you name it. and i was confronted by a special person as well, just not as helpful, however impressive. walter hall is a busy place. and it's only a natural thing that students want to get in there to practice- it sounds good, it feels good and yes, there is shortage of space at busy times of the day in school. however, it is a performance hall and not a practice room, especially regarding the pianos. the piano technicians work very hard to keep the instruments to meet the heavy demands.  they come way before the students, to yield to the kiddies who want to practice. and yes, they do go home after a day's work.  and because many musical events take place in late evenings, it is important t

i know better than to say sorry

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i have THE best mother. though, she's got a bit of issue with time management.  her aim of doing her very best often means that she's out of time- so she always takes piece of her own time to give to someone else, or rather, to someone else's wish that may be trivial for them, but not to her. a passing comment may result in days of efforts, perhaps a sure surprise for the recipient, who was completely clueless.  i cant help but be exasperated at times, come on mom, they arent going to notice- why are you wasting time? you only go to work from 5am till 10pm- she simply says: it's never a waste. she also simply say: im dead tired. mother's a hearty stock, she's a real working donkey. she carries the weight of the loved ones in her heart, all the time. even the wee one who left this world a bit too untimely. i bet in recent chaos of granny heart fiasco, she cant help but to think the little marker on the ground, of her little one, who wouldve been all over the

5 dollars worth of humanity

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there's been much going on since the new year began: full-length chamber concert, return back flight to yyz, 3 recitals and mountains of music, new music festival backstaging, and yes, granny's wee heartattack. just like that, no space between heart and attack, all those 't's and 'a's are making it uneasy to look at. sharp, oblique and complicated. it involved much shift in logistics for everyone in the family- but thankfully, after a big test, she was cleared to return home, if a bit fragile. i think the priority should be focused on getting her strength together again- she can either come back stronger and keep marching happily to the end of her days, or dissolve into fine dusts, a paler version of her oldself.  i do not think she should necessarily live long. i think she should live up to the very last day with the most vi tality she can gather and process. wits. wishes. wants. all nice natural things as a living human being. we have been offered a in-hou