power sunday: deity, gene pools, quarks and MY universe
today was spent obeying tempers of god and my gene pools.
after what seems to be a real amusing if not amazingly not-entertaining conversations about 'correct dosage of vitamins one should consume when expose to abnormal amount of radiations, such as in airplane cabin,' kindly provided by my random seatmate, monkey was dropped with mercy at my parent's house in north end of toronto, at some ungodly time after pumpkin hours.
actually, i stand corrected. it wasnt exactly a conversation. as a conversation would imply at least somewhat reasonably interested replies and further inquiries from one party to another. this was a rather.. unexpected and unasked case of pseud- holistic approach to plane ride to preserve the 'natural state' of one's body. the most amusing part was perhaps the fact i was continuously thinking that there is nothing, absolutely nothing natural about being hurled across the big open sky in a large metal object that consumes ungodly amount of fuel at an amazing height and distance.
amazing enough that i was feeling slightly provoked to only imagine that if he kept it on, perhaps something really natural would happen. like monkey splattering a fellow passenger with something that is not life-threatening but even more dangerous as it would be just annoying: how about a sharp edge of a paper? mmm. it would be a true technique to be able to inflict open wound with paper edges. ha ha.
ouch. that thought actually hurts i think.
anyways, thanks to a fellow collaborative pianist and her sister/the respected boyfriend who came to the airport for the night pickup, during the early hours of the sunday morning, monkey had a big bowl of soup *mm courtesy of granny,* a long shower (it's just about a week ago i spontaneously decided to carry a particular limb with another in an utmost careless act, nevertheless, followed by the most careful act of getting shipped to the local ER of town of banff. what a drama. and of course it's getting better so i totally forgot about it at one point and yanked my lightweight suitcase with it. ooh smart. but i didnt really know any better since i was knocked out somewhat still with kindly derived chemicals ha ha. gawd. but i did remember heat/cold alternation and took a great advantage of indoor plumbing. yay), a noodle around the internet (addict!) then a short sleep.
then back to the good ol'house of god for a little homage to tradition and well, a realistic cheque that would follow by the end of the month, with parental units. ooh my gene pools are very particular people. actually because they were having their shop boiler inspected (mechanical sunday. no rest for the wicked- perhaps the industrial revolution really was wicked and evil?) monkey was delivered to the sanctuary by another person's gene pools. thanks to the good peeps, i was on time, even early (five whole minutes!!) and rather familiar (as i never left or something) ritual of morning rehearsal and service.
it's been about 5-6 years since i left my old church. it's been enough time that one of my friends is now a priest. that does seem rather funny at times, but then i think sometimes such devotion to a belief is so amazing that for someone like me, who are constantly running into the wall with such concept seems funny. not funny ha ha but funny as errr... i dont really... get it... but i do respect it.. kinda.. funny. like getting yelled at by the headmaster for some bizarre thing you cant even remember. anyways, i had/still have no intention of ridiculing the religion. and after all, i did have fun playing with long and short pipes. now that sounds obscene. but how often really a girl of my size gets to play with something called 32' bourdon? yeah.... that is enough rumble to power a chocolate fountain. anyways. it was nice to play back on organ for the old choir. some even recognized my sound (or perhaps the impatience of me, expressed by changing my registration at least once in a verse, ha ha ha) and came to say hello. aww.
then eventual pick up by the real gene pools, and the 2/3 of the family (basically the boys were out working/sleeping/freedoming) went to sunday lunch. it was mom's b day recently however, i really didnt know what to get her (as town of banff sells very limited means of anything practical and nice at same time, nevermind logically priced), so unfortunately monkey was.. um. empty handed. buying something for my mom gets rather tricky because we are so damned different. i love the lady dont get me wrong (unlike. ur.. couple years ago.) (oh come on, stop pissing on me. i know youve been there at times) but since we are so different, it's a real trial to find something that connects both of our real identities. and luckily, she knows and she calmly (and thankfully) said she'll let monkey know when she thinks of something appropriate.
i have a bizarre feeling that it's going to involve some human labour of sort, like delivering granny to the grand city of detroit (gawd. now. that's a wasteland that would make t s elliott proud) in september or something. how does that count for b day present for mom? i have no idea. but let us make a bet. i bet she would ask for that. grrr. ha ha ha.
may be i can actually go out and bear the burden of a short jewellery shopping or something. i traditionally get her some feminine trinkets (miraculously she likes monkey's taste) but it has to be the right one. which involves days of scoping. perhaps that's in order this wk. grrr.
anyways. then a rather long catch up (by monkey standard), then at certain point, monkey was release by the grips of authorities to return to her old cage. whoot.
i havent even unpacked which is pretty unusual. usually i would have had the entire house cleaned up by now. my dear friend PO does a good job of keeping the place, dont get me wrong. im just saying that the price of one's own neurotic ism is rather great. it's almost habitual now. but with this annoying shoulder (i went off the chems this afternoon to just to see how it is really. and it's- vocal enough to notice. bleh.) i think im gonna give up and just do enough to clear my bed space. ooh. old. familiar. basket. space. though. now. the concept of. basket. is.
and as one tries to sleep, one cannot sleep.
so here i am, after reading james beard's old skull cookbook, im bout to hit the sack. i may be amused about the amount of unnecessary rants and curly decorations of the first day back to monkey ground later but for now, i think it's enough.
im still chewing and defining pieces of my peeps of banff summer 2009 session. there are just simply too much riches to spit them all out all at once. like a proper distillation, it must be done with utmost care i think. i have collected impressive raw materials. now i should take a great care to define these new materials in my mind. and let them mingle and boil gently, releasing their individual beauties in unhurried, unforced processes. and then. let the mixture take time to start to ferment, then to initial filter, then care for them dearly, watching some raw impressions to disappear, like proper angels' shares, as explained in proper scottish distilleries, and caring for the best bits,
the best bits of summer 2009 banff session.
i am feeling very lucky, fortunate and privileged. and most importantly, cared and loved for being just a silly monkey. there are things i have not finished or been able to achieve in this session, but there are more impressive things that came during the journey, and the most important thing would be: my newly quarked friends. like subatomic particles in CERN chamber, we've been running around freely, in our odd directions, only to run into one another, not totally by pure chance, but not by totally calculated and directed preparations either. we've all been looking for one another in some way or another, and here we are. with still fresh impressions in monkey's soft, thin skin.
before everything gets to the initial cooking pot, i just wanted to mae a small mark for myself- that this what life is about. people.
people who i love and people who i hope to grow to love.
people who love me for what i am and what i may become, as i interwine with their lives. individually. collectively. freely. but with great care and impressive cost. the cost being our lives. the time. pulses. the one thing we cannot bring back or compensate for.
ah. yyz good to see you.
ah. yyc you were good to me.
ah. my dear friends good to see you again.
and my new friends, thanks for the start of some amazing journey.
i hope i can only be an active nurturer of your willingness to share your lives and thoughts.
i am so lucky.
and hullo mr. salamander.
as of always, somewheres around, 3tz.
somewhat a strange feeling of return to see you in 3tz in yyz.
as i always lose sense of real location and time in 3tz. wag.
now.. to basket.. with nice.. chemicals.... mm... true ... monk..ey... fash...io....n.......zz......