2.11.09

putting the last touch


*repost from last year's musing somewhere on back of my pocket with dust bunnies.

on tired face still pale with the weight of the days
with the thickest paint and brightest glitters
one night a year, we celebrate another artificial holiday
once in remembrance of the deceased
now in rememberance of currently deceasing.

laughed out loud at foolish pageantry
another consumerism success,
i often looked with disdane
at this despearate escape to
fantasies of each one.

tonight i look closer
as a mobster in observance

the girls and boys with their unquinched wanting for
friendship and belonging,
dresses up as princesses and heroes,
going through strangers' door to another
breaking the daily rule of isolation and self-containment
giggling with excitement
not only for the candies
but for the rare moments of togetherness

the adults with even more thirst
crowd the streets with if overtly sexual, sometimes crude
often genius creative but mostly store-purchased icons of
dreams musings frustrations envies
once dismissing them as childish
i now see the insecurities and hopelessness of daily life
expressed in its negative prints
just like photos where the inversion shows
the attempts to obtain what they long for
but cannot have.

tomorrow
we'll get up with masks crushed on the street
already lost its glitters and feathers
probably a magic wand or a sceptor
that rules nothing
wings with gaping holes, torn apart,
capes that no longer hides

with massive headache and hangover
may be even a broken heart or two

we will already reminescence the glory of
phantasmata on earth
once a year on a halloween night
we will already dream for
the next halloween night
clinging into the fast-fading memories as
kings and queens
who ruled one night
a halloween night.

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