noisy eaters should be sent to bed with no suppers!

(pet peeve tag by graphic designer brittany harriman, florida)

just like everyone else, i have some pet peeves. though highly insignificant and dumb mostly, it is weird to be effected so fundamentally by such small things. i am sure i also have habitual failings that disturb others and i would like to not to do it, if i can help, at all!  so what are monkey's peeves?  well, there are too many to list, unfortunately, but i will put on some today here, as it makes me laugh at the same time. gah.

1. wrong contractions/nu-spelling: i understand lots of kids, especially with farcebook and texting culture, they like to make up stuff because it's convenient or it's funny (or retarded!!).  the biggest and most dumb one is 'your' vs 'youre'.  just because they look similar... or referring to things without checking the standard spelling.  i understand if you alternate between 'color' and 'colour,' though as a stickler canadian, i prefer the extra 'u' for what it's worth.  though ive been called on my lack of capital letters and general punctuation. so i am guilty as well. boo. but really, i bet people who do nu-spelling has no problems with it at all. so my loss, most likely.

2. that's the other thing, i do not like the tyranny of capital letters. though that's closer to mental disturbance than a pet peeve.  i just like the spacings between the smaller letters a bit better.  looks bit more egalitarian somehow.

3.  people who eat and make lots and lots of noise: the other day, i was going to drop by a chinese restaurant to pick up cha shu pork. i decided perhaps i would like a bowl of congee as well.  i was in one of busier places in toronto and that meant i will be sharing the table as a single diner. which is fine. and there came this young man.  i am sure he's probably in university (looking at the neighbourhood, time of the day, way of dressing etc) and he's one of those guys who are somewhat incomplete.  now, why would i say that: well, he sat down with a psp, transfixed on it while ordering his lunch etc.  i was being rude, i suppose, observing this man and his appearance (he was right in front of me! i didnt have an electronic device to occupy self!)- havent shaved nor washed his hair in ages, shirt full of spots and stains, etc. then came my nightmare: he is a noisy eater.  i hate when people chew with their mouths open. it makes wet-churning-noise which i find gross.  and with him sweating, hence wiping his face with end of his sleeves (no!!), i ended up taking my lunch to go. i could not do it.  people should realize that eating should not require noise making of any sorts.  gross.

4. toilet paper on a roller, with rolling side closer to the wall: you know when you put on a new bugger roll, you have two chances- toilet paper will either unroll over, so that the paper will be draped on 'your' side, or the other way- the paper will be draping to the 'wall' side. this drives me crazy enough that i have changed the bugger roll so it will fall on 'my' side. that is nuts, i know.

5. people who talks on phone while in line. i dont care what line- grocery, bank, dentist. shut up! that's what texting is for. we dont wanna know about your recent breakup with a millionaire, which is probably just 
a hoax anyways.

6. unbalanced things: things that are slightly off balance. like pictures.  frames. doors.  especially pictures.  i dislike when people sends you tons of badly taken, off-balance, washed out pictures, especially when it's dealing with some dumb stuff, like falling over drunk. it's not funny.  

7. drivers who often wants to run you over while you are on a bike lane: nothing more to say.

8. self-important people: i mean, who do you think you are exactly? your life involves around you, yes, but realize that pronoun in use is 'you' not 'we.'  just because you want me to, does not mean i have to learn a ridiculously hard music in a day for 20 dollars.

9. people who takes more than one seat on transit: spilling over IS a tragedy. especially on commercial plane. i did not pay for you to spill over and take my precious cubic inches.  this applies to buses and trains as well.  if you got stuff, fine, i understand, i travel on public transit too. but dont you dare think it's alright to squeeze in and spread out.  that's just bad. wrong. mad.  dont touch my thighs with yours. please. it is a public space.

10. dirty cutleries at eateries/cafes: NO! NO! NO!

11. shit printed scores: i often have to read things fast and when the spacings on printed pages are off, it takes forevermore effort to read them.  also smudged notes and transparent pages suck.  ooh did i mention loose sheets as binding dies? or simply pages in binder that falls out? i know. i should get them spiral binded...

12. underseasoned food: if you want to eat less sodium, go ahead. if you want to eat margarine all your life, be my guest. dont tell me they are any good.  i think it's mighty fine to eat and THEN move.  anyone who have seen me eat knows what im saying. i like eating tasty delicious food.

13. bad understanding of tempo/rubato and everything in between: being drunk does not make you a musical person.  and you should not look like you are dancing while playing and vice versa.

14.  wrong recycling things in bins: ie. paper in plastic, glass in paper, that kind of things.  the worst offenders are people who put trash in lost-and-found. you wonder who does that- well, it does happen. mind boggling.

15. people whose speeches contain large quantity of following words (>25%): well, like, umm, i donno (then who knows eh?), you know, kind of, etc etc. it's not just alright to speak in concise manner. it's supposed to be concise.  anyone who disagrees, ask yourself: do i listen to a voicemail message to the end?

16. people who do not tip enough and people who expects tip for lack of service: nothing further.

17. people who spill dairy and sugar all over the coffeeshop seasoning table: clean up your mess please. just because you are having a tremor (most likely caffeine related), does not mean you can be retarded and uncultured.

18. north american date format of month-day-year: cant we do either small to large scale or vice versa? it makes no sense...  to add to my preference, i also like 24-hour format better than 12-hour format. screw am and pm.  it gets even more confusing.

19. spit pools on practice room floor. it's gross. i understand that it happens, but brass players, dont you think it's gross to step on other people's spit pool? so stop! please!

20. what looked like a clean microcloth for cleaning glasses/camera lenses: the effort is now nullified totally and your glasses is dirtier than ever.  if you use my glasses hankie for kentukey fried chicken lunch, at least leave me the wet nap with my dirty hankie.  and yes, the correct order of putting lotion on hands would be: clean glasses with hankie, fold and put away hankie, put lotion on hands, not to be reversed, EVER.

21. butter for toast in airplanes and restaurants that are icicle hard. do you want me to heat them up on my non-existent cleavage? clearly, that's an insult to anyone who did not make it to the final interview at the hooters...

22. nailclipper that you meant to throw away long long time ago but have forgot to: now that you try to trim your nail in a hurry for a rehearsal, it'll rip through your fingertips. ouch. own fault. still, fail.

23. HHD blank cd packaging: those clear plastic wrapping for discs are impossible to open in a hurry.  once again, perhaps it's the fact that i am always in a hurry. but you mustve remember at least once when you were excited to open a new cd, only to scratch across the entire face panel in vain effort to open the damned case.

24. that pencil you find in practice room- ooh yeah, pencil! only to realize it's empty/broken (snap! fail), haha.

and the list may go on and on, but if these are the essence of my suffering, i think the day is a good one.  it really was just a small pet peeve that got me thinking today, with the noisy eater.  i like my communal tables, however, those communal tables should come with etiquette teacher.  and the things i am annoyed because of 'rushing,' i should try hard to not to rush. eliminate the opportunities.  and for all the other things that 'other people' do, i am sure most of them have not even realize what they actually do and what that may do to others.  perhaps with these bits of free time, i should re-examine myself and try to be less-annoying, though it is always too tempting to observe others, the source of pet peeves are endless.  are you amused or annoyed? what do YOU do when these small things get to you?  makes me wonder how we all live in proximity with one another, mostly happily, if not at with tolerance... and for all those things that grates on nerves, well, let us have some tea. tea and time may not fix anything, but time certainly do solve all problems eventually. and tea will help pass the time. life must be alright, once again. without pet peeves. yay. love to you all.

1 comment:

  1. and you can't open the cd package because your nails got ripped off by the blunt clippers...
    it's good job these things are funny! (we hope)

    ...and love to you too!