20.6.11

not even a penny for the thoughts



in the days of 4G networks and smart phones, communication is becoming cheaper by the seconds i feel.  i am still holding onto my old school motolora phone; there are times when i am super tempted to upgrade to the fancy android phones, but somehow i have managed to avoid such splurge YET.  i try to do most of my communication through email- thanks to god, email format still seem to cling onto some old practices as proper addresses and closing/signatures and stuff, unlike the shorten txt gibs. but you see, you need to be on the network (hit he panic button)  and it does seem rather convenient to be able to check one's inbox couple times in an hour ( ! ) - during the peak season, i did lose couple gigs as people have replied with lightening speed (through phones, of course) and i thought over and over about conversion.  but suppose im still 'considering.'  how unfashionable of me!

so why such cling to old conventions? well i do love snail mail.  once in awhile, i will get something in the post- letters, postcards, even small pkgs ( ! ) and boy, it feels so much nicer than another email.  i still like to go to post office and send off one-liner post cards and such.  often i even take the risk by hand-writing my letters. and i am somewhat irked about the cheapness of the fast communication.  things like twitter makes no sense to me, as it is directed to all people, hence no one in particular, and unless you have been aware of the previous chains (and keep up with later chains), it hardly makes any sense at all, which means people are often trapped in this texting loop. help!

and also because i have a one recent (well, if you can call it that) memory, which i will never get to make it up for.  last year, when my wee bro was travelling, he was keeping taps with me through emails, as he knows how allergic i can be with phones.  i usually turn my phone off once it starts to ring.  but one evening, shortly before his crash, i was on skype and the phone rang.  i glanced to look at the number: gabe.  i casually thought: no probs, i will call him back.  and he texted right after: will be in touch tomorrow.

there was no tomorrow for that text.

often i see younger kids who takes their raw thoughts with gusto of whim and confidence, sending them out at lightening speed without thinking of the consequences.  especially when one is angry.  beside, i think we are all aware of 'drunk' text/calling...  and we all think there'll time to make it up. with pride, often one goes on, pretending and assuming that things are always going to be okay. except it may not be.

since gabe's last text, i always jerk to check my phone when it rings/vibrates.  i may not pick up the phone, but i will always check as soon as i can.  i never got to call my wee bro back.  and whenever i see people throwing their thoughts in the cheapest way possible, a small corner of my heart rings in loss-

wee bro, im sorry i didnt pick it up.

ah, how i wish i have given my thoughts the right prices for them.

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