if i was a better listener...

peter is away from home today.  the house is now really quiet- usually, we are snickering over the series of night time shows-  jon stewart, jay reno, jimmy fallon then to craig ferguson. he would be on the futon, easing into sleep and i would be writing emails and emails and more emails...

we've been friends for good 14 years or so. during those years, we grew together and apart, simultaneously. we often argue- like one little dog (me) biting the ankle of much larger dog (peter).  in one argument, i ran all the way down from 32nd floor to the first floor, then walked back up, just to let the steam out.  but there's no argument that he's one of the dearest people in my life.

though we may disagree and make all kinda silly accusations, he can have anything that i have. and he is incredibly generous with me- time and efforts, especially. the way he tries to meet my musing standards- like rolled socks in the hamper means death screeching to follow, i am quite touched, even if i have to unroll those socks once in awhile.

yesterday, he started to feel unwell. by the night, around jay reno, he was quite poorly. but he's often ill (low immunity), so we thought may be we should stay away from the hospital (where ill people go with infections!).  but in the early morning, he went to st. mike's hospital- only to let me know later that they are gonna do a small butchery! *appendicitis

may be we couldve sent him earlier if i was a better listener.
may be i am crazy. i dont know.
i do know that i feel badly that i didnt realize that it was serious any earlier...

i dropped by in the afternoon, then had to run back to school to cover his shift. by the time all things were done, it was already 9pm as i was leaving the school.  i half-ran to the hospital with his daily meds and small things, however, he's still in the recovery room (an ICU) and i would have to wait till tomorrow to talk to him.

i wish i was nicer to him yesterday when he was feeling ill. i wish him to get better soon and come home. the recovery may take  a bit and that makes me sad, sitting all alone in the little nest on 32nd floor downtown building.  i can see st. mike's from here- sleep well, peter.  i am all ears trying to hear you snoring off the night..

i miss you.
get better soon!

1 comment:

  1. To be a better listener. Think listening is a matter a many ways of feeling..I'm sure you've got so plenty of them. He might have spent all that time seeing your smile within his own eyes, dreaming of you ! Lucky guy ;-)