the voice is loud enough that even i, the minimalist living being, has been convinced to make three bank appointments in last ten days! yikes.
looking at the numbers on pages, in january, i often feel 'failed.' how are my peers keep buying houses, pay for extravagant events and keep looking so happy and wealthy? perhaps it's all of us who feels that way...
anyway, sunday is often lunch with momdad. we often go to silly all-you-can eat and stuff ourselves- very much a blue-collar thing: now we have some time, eat up (instant gratification), along with family and friends (long-term happiness) and hope for better next week. so amongst talk of tennis, international manufacturing and mom/granny's health (my mom is quite physically dented at the mo), we ate plenty.
on way back downtown, i stopped at a hobby shop, looking for a felting needle (which they did not have). on way in, i saw a homeless man, sitting on cardboard, as snow continued to come down. i glanced at his cup- almost empty, felt slight guilt and moved on.
on way back to the subway from the shop, i saw him again. cup almost empty. but what hurt was the fact that he felt so alone- people with zipped hoodies up, trying to get home. he wasnt looking up at people, just curled up in his own headspace.
i didnt have cash (often happens!)
i asked him if he would allow me to get him some sunday lunch. he quietly got up and hid his cardboard on the corner. i said your pick of place. we walked into wendy's. i asked what he would like and he simply said: whatever you are willing-
we got him a double burger meal and an extra bottle of water that he may take.
he's from sudbury, been in toronto for twenty years. we talked about the big nickel.
i didnt want to make him feel as if he needed to talk to me in exchange. but i didnt wanted to push him away if he wanted a sunday lunch social activity. nickel was a good subject. when his food came out, i bid good bye and went on my way. he thanked for sunday lunch and bit of break from the cold.
i realized, once again, whatever i may feel and think, the truth is that im rich enough. im rich enough to extension my lovely sunday lunch with fam to this man. im the one who is grateful.
life is a funny one. always.