26.1.15

to fuse, to breath


to relate to another person/being/thing/event, it is to 'fuse.'

'fusion' comes from middle french 'fusion,' seen as early as 1550s, from latin word 'fundere,' meaning melting and pouring.

a lung transplant.

it's not a heart transplant- if you give your whole heart to another, well, you would be forfeiting your own life. lungs, you have a pair. everyone's a pair of lungs on average. you do not have working lung, you will end up gasping for air the whole time. life turns into a maelstrom.

we can now do a very successful single or double-lung transplant. yes, one may open one's thorax to full capacity- though open cavity surgeries are becoming rarer, this procedure may require full-access. nothing held back.

in naked vulnerability, a surgeon will gently remove the old lung. then the donor lung gets attached, 3 little vessels then connects the donor lung and the body: airway, pulmonary artery and pulmonary vein. and the the body is closed. and one hopes for a successful fusion.

the patient will take immuno-suppresant, probably till the last step to the grave.  once accepted, one need to take care of the presence of another with care- they will live within one's life, and because they are essentially different from self, it will always need to be looked after as such.

one may also suffer with infection. the foreign lives that seeped through and settles down, colonizing the body with vicious hunger.  just like the difficult emotions we receive from our relationships that may end up poisoning the whole person.

the upside is that many people with new lungs will gain a chance to life, to live to the fullest potential once again.  the foreign lung becomes part of the existing circuitry. welded on, day and night, repaired and fused by living cells. it requires time, effort and nourishment.  just like the beautiful circuitry of CPU board, once integrated, it will complete the unit once again. life hums again.

the donor may cease to exist before the death of recipient. may be the donor have died already.

one may learn the story of the donor. one may never find out.

but the lung, isolated and willingly given to another person, will fuse, to give life. to continue life.

this is how i view love.
we fuse with one another.
we freely give parts of one another, in open vulnerability.
and though it becomes part of us, as individuals, it was never one's own. and it will need care through the course of time. but it will complete us, it will let us breath and look up, to realize that we are no longer drowning in maelstrom, short of breath.

it lets us live.

to fuse.

what a luxury, being a human being.
love to all.

1 comment:

  1. In this transplant, the fusion is necessary: one element has failed and needs help. Still, the human body would prefer to be independent, to function whole and alone. In love, this is anathema and we fuse, becoming stronger because of it, whilst becoming paradoxically vulnerable to its possible loss. I would rather a life filled with love than independence, the strength and happiness of someone within you, fused.

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