to serve, to wash, to be a bit lost
:christ washing the disciples' feet, tintoretto
https://youtu.be/WyqdRfRXKW0in this time of weirdness, lots of things changed.
instead of mad ride through rehearsals, juries and concerts, i am largely unoccupied.
unoccupied, meaning unemployed, unutilized, perhaps even unawake.
instead of running fast to put in that obligatory 5k run first thing in the morning, i am walking, somewhat aimlessly, slow, with lots of time to look around, seeing things that i havent seen YET in all places that i thought i knew, and finding new places that i have never seen.
i knew about some foodbanks around my area, but i have never seen the line up.
till last week.
i did a shift at local community kitchen today. this is the first time in a long while that i could chip in physically. i usually send money, as it's easy, and i dont have to be there.
it's been said, that the most important thing is to be there.
i wasnt, cuz i was busy. im a seasonal worker. it would be really complicated if i had regular daytime shift volunteering.
i wasnt there.
but anyhow, with no money to chase after, i was there, walking 17km in return trip.
we assembled really good looking lunch packages. others welcomed me right away. chickpea sandwich on a bagel, a piece of cake, apple and a snack bar, a juice and a whole big can of pringles. for easter, nonetheless.
it could so easily be me, in a few years, if i lost my ways of earning a living.
may be even just in few months, who knows.
tonight, if all things went well, every catholic church wouldve had their proud members lined up on front, as the priest washes their feet.
jesus washing feet of his people.
and today, he says, very simply:
mandatum novum do vobis ut diligatis invicem sicut dilexi vos"
("I give you a new commandment, That ye love one another as I have loved you") (John 13:34).
when im on a sidewalk, walking up for early workdays, i am used to seeing the same homeless people on my route. i keep my head down, as usually they are not feeling so cheery, having to spend and survive another brutal night- who knows what may have happened. some yells, sometimes. some yells, all the time. and some disappear at times, and some never come back.
regardless of what i think of religion, it is true, what jesus said.
it is simple, therefore so hard. to love others as ive been loved.
may be people become hateful because they havent been loved.
by total luck, i served a lunch shift today- the last shift before easter at this particular kitchen. as jesus got ready to wash feets.
(sahara at dawn)
im over half way, and ive been thinking of elijah.
driven to anger, what did you see, in 40 days and nights, elijah?
(pamir wilderness, tajikistan)
ive seen the endless dirtplanes of tajikistan, and ive seen continuous road through the camino.
thoughts come up, like wild mushrooms. they break through ground, and release spores, going far, farther than any of can imagine.
(to lake myvatn, iceland)
what would i see in these 40 days?
what is this wilderness? plague? what are we now?
as i wiped down the tables and foodcart with smell of bleach ringing my nose, i thought of a few things.
what is it, to love one another, as weve been loved?
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