goodbye practice day 2: buying flowers instead of potted plants

my friends know that i like to gift people with cuttings and potted plants. the idea is that... it goes onto be nurtured by the recipient, and if life is kind, that 'thing' will be alive, become 'some'thing/'some'one, and we go onto cultivate this 'relationship.'

but today, i bought cut flowers. when people stop eating solid, active dying phase isnt too far. and bringing her flowers would be rather uncalled for this particular relationship at this time.

the shop was full of bright, shouty flowers. chrismas! (serious) halloween! fall bounties! birthdays! congratulations! etc!

it looked like i was going to fail to find something that is 'right' for today. i sighed.

i suppose i was celebrating granny in a sense she got out of the hospital.  i really thought that she may die in the hospital (as tired as she was), and i asked a gigantic favour, that she somehow gets out of there, and die at her usual place. unless, she really is at 'empty.'

so for her to hang on, and get out, and be lucid to see three little persons who came from her life, is gigantic bonus.

then i saw the one that was exactly right- the specimens, colours, size. she used to grow lots of flowers and stuff in her garden (interestingly, not much food stuff). and i often brought her mums. cuz they are hardy and they are really nice. the slight whiffy minty smell is a total plus.

i also brought customary huge box of freshly baked chinese buns. assorted. for her friends and workers at the home. for them to eat as much as they would like, because, well, regardless of what my granny eats, life should go on, and people need to be celebrated. 

also, we were driving there. hahaha. makes 30 dollars worth of buns much easier to transport. *they would just get all squished in my backpack, if i were to take it myself on transit...

*

many things were said once we got there. mostly simple stuff. 

granny's not angry or frustrated. she's full of thanks to everyone. 

she couldnt recognize herself in the photos i printed out, but she was able to point me out, every time, HAHAHA.  may be she will look at them, and look at that stranger's face, and think-

i wonder what she would think, now that she's been reminded that it's her own self.

from the times that are now a past.

and here's the day 2's exercise. it turned out to be a hybrid flower of all the flowers in the bouquet, somehow. i think that's fine. things are collapsing into one another, and it's becoming an illustration of what it once was. how life becomes a story.

i wonder if i would get to see her again. no one knows. so till them, i practice, everyday.