last sundown, 2020

this year's been weird.
bizarre enough that everyone lost something. 

an abstract loss- of perceived sense of freedom, of certain projected future,

or a definitive, objective loss- of self-identity, jobs and careers, routines and loved ones,

or loss that is so vast that it cannot be defined just yet, because it IS still ongoing,

this may be the first thing to agree in 2021- that we all lost (something) in 2020. of course, like mushrooms that come up during the cusp of fall and winter, more thoughts will come up, post-2020. and yes, there'll be positives too. 

im not downplaying the silver lining. 

just that it's okay to grieve if you are grieving.

my heart goes out to people who lost, and are in process of losing- whatever it may be, whoever it may be-

i have one fewer person to greet tomorrow, 01 january 2021, than a year ago.
as i may make myself a ricecake soup- a korean traditional tteokguk, signifying-
a year older.
a year gone.
both negatives and positives.
and everything inbetween.