looking int the same apeture, variation i
it seems rather surreal that i am back here in toronto. that three months, the first quarter of this year already flew away. i probably lived equivalent of a year in those three months. i crossed so many paths with so many different people. when i left, it was in midst of frost and ice, now it has been warm enough to be walking around in t-shirt and a sweater. quite different from banff's high tall majestic mountains, now im comforted by tall, illuminated buildings.
i was also reminded that some will always be old friends, just meeting up now, realizing, hey, where have you been? ive been looking around.
i didnt get to bid good bye to everyone, it being the last day, the aftermath of last reception etc., but soon we will all be back in the old world, and if one isnt careful, it will just become a piece of past- the snow, music, persons and thoughts, common experiences, differentiated opinions...
i think i will be trying to attempt to keep these fragile new relationships as alive as possible. to keep all people would be futile and unrealistic. to keep a few would be integral to my survival and enrichment.
it's almost 4am and the wind outside of my familiar 32nd floor view is scattered lights on dark blue velvet, accentuated by bright logos on top of the buildings.
my aperture, my window. blinking and dancing as the spring evening wind, capricious and rough-playing rips through the silence of the night. chiro obscuro, accompanied by fresh memories- so fresh, it's hard to tell what would be remembered. what would become the negatives and what would protrude through the present?
like alice who's back from the rabbit hole. going for the next ride.
yyc this afternoon was pale golden yellow, like that of fall wheat, already harvested, drying out, like bales of hay, with gentlest caressing of dvorak op. 95 new world symphony, ii: largo. im going home. but let me not forget that home was with me all this time- where i could be who i am without worrying (there is a such place), where anything goes. where things are gentle.