15.4.09

delinquent toys in early afternoon of cheap alcohol and fags.


i cant believe it's almost been a week since i scribbled. not that my writing amounts to anything significant really. just a self-observation. i blame this on easter. well, not on easter, perhaps, easter schedule.

last couple days really, starting on friday, has been dyed with that inescapable taste of easter. whether i practice or not, there's always the good old commercialism to count on and boy, it would have been a miracle to avoid easter from the edge of one's consciousness. easter rabbits, stuffed dolls, easter eggs, easter egg kits, easter fundraisers, easter bouquets, easter plants, easter dinners, brunches, whatever blah chocolates. for nation that is somewhat non-religious, it was a rather stunning quantity of products and services for zombie jesus.

now, please dont get angry about the concept of zombie jesus. seriously, if i understand correctly, jesus was a bit of a rebel and he was an intelligent person, though he has been temperamental (like the time he whacked people out of church ground with fists whips and violence really) and often an unexpected magician ('more wine anyone?'). and cheeky. very cheeky (remember the time he went off as a young boy and told mary that she 'shouldve' known better to where to find him- the church, wherelse? haha. i see very little humour from a mother's perspective. but then, mary became a saint- well, bigger than a saint, saint and a mother of jesus, and that was not all free titles. like everything else, when it meant something, it wasnt given for free!! (one should keep this in mind when 'praying' for 'not-earned' stuff.)

anyhows. from barely missing the passion reenactment in kensington market while having coffee with a good friend of mine, caroline and her boy, the week has been full of odd gigs@utoronto, rehearsals, easter services (i got to play the timpani this year, mark my word), easter lunches/dinners, helping out with jazz studio sessions (cables and more cables grrrr), taxes, paper works, more paper works, a videographer gig (i guess i can add that to resume now), more church gig (confirmation. a greasy affair) to brunch with old utoronto folks, it's been run run run run run run of a situation.

in fact, the wk will still roll forward and i am kind of glad, since 1. i am working and keeping busy, 2. hence i am making some money, 3. may will come FASTER (yay wag wag wag), 4. i still managed to keep an eye on changing weather. the trees are now finally full of buds, spring buds, even here in toronto. today, walking from the old'hood, futures bakery, kensington, part of chinatown, queen's park, back home, i was mesmerized about all these trees and grasses, upward shoots and innocent and brave flowers (they dont know that it's not really spring yet). like sparkles of hope and anticipation, some of them have already start to open, just a crack. not shy, just eager. way ahead of its time.

i was sending that bit of early spring across the puddle and it was too much fun. also in chinatown, i found couple amusing things, as usual- but the broken collection of toys is what really made me laugh today. amazing.

apparently they are all broken and all are selling a buck a piece. i guess no one's really looking into buying them. so they were all chilling by themselves, lounging around, milling around, like the highschool delinquents, drunk off cheap beer and fags, like the daffs all the way in england somewheres. where is not even important, as i was completely taken aback by the similarity of two images- simple, careless or carefree (whichever one you prefer), young and brash attitude of defiance and 'coolness' in early afternoon, still drinking the warm sunlight and probably regretting the festivity couple hours later ('damn that last fag killed me man. let me chase it. do you have a fag?' lol)

the toys, meanwhile broken and joyous simultaneously, still make me laugh. not only i am amused, there are so many stories that will grow out of that crazy image. i am glad that those toys been dented a bit. just like everyone else in this world, not perfect or not what they are 'supposed' to be, but being whatever they are now, functioning even far beyond their own grasp of reality. halleluja, once broken toys, now have risen from the pile of uselessness, bringing inspiration, laughter and who-knows-what-else. their carefreeness, from the very fact that all of them are equal (each for a dollar!!!!) and hence further free from the possible 'competition'- whose cooler, neater, whatevers, added much to my view of this laxed spring afternoon.
twit twit twit. hands in pocket. walking along, strolling along.
like the broken toys, im just being whatever i am.
drunk off the sunlight. the wind. the agitated spring anticipation. hooray.

the afternoons of YYZ has been full of bravado of spring, easter, resurrection and miracle plays, odd jobs and offhand comments.
it's been much fun. i just hope that i do remember to collect these mental bits down to chew on some normal boring days, should they exist.

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