unexpectedly, surprisingly long day today. day 2 of 21. hmm. the prediction was tears by day 10 (according to my boss)- i beat the odds by couple days i suppose. but i still have to remember that it's not so important- everything is important yes, but only if you make it important.
there were some difficult bits during the early day and it led to much unnecessary meltdown. but at the end, all the loose ends are wrapped (or i hope so, i guess if there's still stuff, i will get to find it out tomorrow. oh joy) and i gotta keep things in perspective: even when things do look catastrophic, only a very few will actually turn out to be a catastrophe. i can't please everyone, but it's a damn right thing to try, and even when it doesnt work, one still has to look forward the good things in life, as there are always a plenty of good things. one just have to take the time, breathe, and look away from what seems to be a persisting or acute problem. the world, though one is important in its context, still contains many things outside of self. none is permanent. good and bad.
today is no different. some bits are good and some bits were.. less than desirable. for instance, the effort to ingest some form of solid food has been foiled; monkey has been defeated by vicious vistas. sounds like a badass gang rapper. ha ha. vistas, btw, is the name of the cafeteria/dining area of banff center. spectacular view, food is usually pretty good, just that monkey's not having too good of a time with it for now. im sure it may have to do with the fact i didnt really sleep for couple days before i headed out here so. whatevers. so after getting through two days of internal turmoil, a literal and figurative one, it's a relief to head to shower - basket. oooh sleep.
however, i did luck on one major thing. one of the faculty, nicholas daniel, an oboist from uk, is playing bach bwv 1055 concerto for oboe d'amore on thursday concert. and they figured out whose going to play- except for the harpsichord player. and monkey was at the right place and right time. after short signature, there she held the copy of continuo part and excited heart for 1400 rehearsal.
this concerto also exists in an alternative version for the harpsichord, though i do prefer the oboe d'amore version. a mezzo/alto of the oboe family, a little more mellow and sweeter than the modern oboe, oboe d'amore has this real lovely high range. it's absolutely gorgeous. the sound of oboe is of a thin silk ribbon for me. supple, colorful, sheen, gloss, but soft to touch. lighter than air. flies and weaves through the wind. always a tad bit melancholic than anything else. a nicely voiced oboe is a gem in a larger texture, it can be piercing- not harsh, but still, piercing through the mass, conglomerate of sound, a shine. the harpsichord version, i find, is tad bit too bright and jagged (let's face it, it is bloody difficult to create an illusion of a continuous line on a harpsichord) in comparison.
so when the office dude asked 'do you happen to know this piece?' i had to say 'yes, both versions and though the keyboard version is FUN, i prefer this (oboe d'amore version).' and i was full of hot air, waiting for 1400 rehearsal.
and when 1400 arrived, it took all the weight off the day. what a glorious piece. esp. the last movement, upward, like true summer sunshine- perhaps a late summer, where the green grasses are sort of tired after the long summer days, looking into the slight fading of yellow, that golden glow that comes only after the blazing passion of the sun, but still supple and joyous along the winds that cuts across them. tall grasses, high as they could be, grown and survived all summer, waves, as if they are the water particles, reflecting the late summer sun, the last holidays before the arrival of the fall. a hint of melancholia, but still, happy with a lilt on the heels.
and the soloist, nicholas daniel, is a fab player.
so at least there still is one amazingly beautiful thing in the day. actually, when monkey takes a bit of distance, there are several beautiful things. the tsunamis sent from my friends, the red dots that connects the courses of the day- regardless of the time zones, faculty at banff whose wholly supportive and cheering for monkey (despite the meltdown), and a surprise gift of BWV 1055.
i just have to remember what's important. what is important? well, very easy. one step back, it'll immediately pop out to one's heart.
i am much loved and cared for, and though it is impossible to please everyone, including oneself (more often than not), there are still so many beautiful things in my day. enough lightness that monkey's gonna put the worries of the day off with the stream of time, while packing the beautiful bits, tie it to helium red balloons, sending it off to share.
oboe d'amore concerto, you brought vita d'amore for monkey.