gabe, look what you made me do!
sometimes i am amazed about the unexpected interactions with others. some are good and some are better. some are worse and a few are truly outstandingly crazy. i am starting to wrap my bro's life, staring from the phone bill to bank account, etc. and there are many funny things that came up today. for instance, i went to the bank to see how i would start to the process to close his account. well, the current balance of his account was in triple digits, including the decimals. i started to laugh as clearly, this young man knew how to stretch his cash (and vicariously, others' cash as well). smooth roller. great. ahahaha.
however, i completely exploded on capital one credit card company. i never had such an incompetent service in my entire life. and though i have lived not so much, i have called all kinds of financial institutions in all kinds of locations. and this one, i swear, gets the WTF monument. and it shall be larger than christ the redeemer of rio de janeiro.
here goes the first conversation:
monkey: ... look, i am not the account holder, but i am in charger of closing mr. lee's account as he was involved in fatal accident and therefore wont be able to take care of this matter directly.
agent: ... oh i am sorry. okay. i will look and see what i need to do for you.
(put on hold for 15 min)
agent: ... *dr. lee, i will transfer you to the appropriate person, thank you and please hold.
phone msg: this number is not in service. repeat, this number is not in service.
brilliant. the agent have managed to connect me to the number that does not work. look, if you dont want to do the work for me (which you are getting paid for), just dont show up to work. if you do show up, do remember that you have to be somewhat competent. that includes connecting your customer to the appropriate service line that is in service.
so goes the second conversation:
monkey: ... so my brother was in a fatal accident, that's why i am calling.
agent: ... so why are you calling?
m: i said he was in a fatal accident (wtf?)
agent: ... he cant call?
m: (angry) look, do you speak english? fatal means 'resulting in death.' do you understand? that means he is dead.
agent: ... ah, you mean he is dead?
m: fatal accident, yes, dead, no longer living. do you understand what that means? or do i have to explain what dead means as well? if you arent competent in speaking and understanding english, why are you working in customer service on phone line? if you wont mind, can you transfer me to someone who is competent in english?
agent: ... well, sorry ma'am, the line is bad**
m: poor line connection makes you unable to comprehend? well, i am sorry, but the fact that you have a poor quality phone connection is unacceptable to begin with, and to blame that on your incompetency is not an adequate explanation. can you connect me to your manager please?
third conversation with the manager:
monkey: why do you have poor line connection that you cant hear me and i cant hear you?
agent: ... we are working on it
m: you are 'working on' it or you are supposed to work 'on it?' why should i be suffering from your failed infrastructure? you are a business- you cost me money, you arent a charity. what do you expect me to do?
a: i am sorry.
m: i understand you will say there's nothing you could do. that solves nothing. your company in incompetent.
a: ... was there any other concerns?
m: why was i connected to a line that is not in service by your agent?
a: i will look into it ma'am
m: and how do you expect me to do a business transaction with you when your agent is not able to comprehend english?
a: i am sorry ma'am
m: okay, so for wasting an hour of my life by waiting, calling, being disconnected, repeat, you are sorry- okay. fine. could you get back to me after you have investigated why your agents were incompetent and what actions has been taken?
a: sorry dr. lee, we do not send out a report back for customer complaint.
m: so what assurance can you give me that it will actually be looked after? nothing. and are you expecting me to just trust you after an hour of most poor customer service i have ever received?
a: well that's the way it is for us-
m: alright. let it be the protocol. but do realize that your company, your staff and you have shown me what a bad customer service can be like. i never had anything so bad and i hope your company will pay for the lack of business ethics, as soon as possible. is there anything you need from me?
a: well, thanks for registering your concern-
m: dont thank me. i dont trust you any more than i would trust the worst liar there was in history. do you need anything in addition?
a: ah- no,
m: i hope you have a day full of shame. bye.
* funny enough, sometimes i whip out my dr title. especially when people are rude. it's funny how some people change instantaneously. what bunch of assholes.
** the line was exceptionally poor quality. i was hearing echoes of myself. means one thing: they are on internet phone line to save money, meaning they are outsourced far and far away. with the accent, i will be fairly on the money to say they were in india or other south eastern asianwasnt like i was asking them to spell and define words such as 'antidisestablishmentarianism.' wtf.
i was really pissed while i was going through it. i am still a bit angry. but when i wrote it out, it just looks funnier. ohhhh... i will be spending lots of time on the phone in near future. i wonder what other joys await for me from the 'other side.' gabe. i really wished you were here and you can call your own damned customer service line. service my ass. it's more like customer torture line.
but for a laughter: i found so far 18 lighters in his room. i suppose that's what happens when you really enjoy smoking. there's nothing worse than missing lighter. ahahaha. love to you all and good night. this monkey is going to try to sleep. may be i should take a day off from working on gabe's life? it sounds mighty tempting right now.