toffee and national security


at canadian customs on way back to yyz:

officer: good afternoon, miss-
monkey: good afternoon, here's my passport and forms.
o: (glance forms) where do you live?
m: here in toronto, downtown by eaton centre.
o: (scribbling) and where are you coming from?
m: a small village called chinley in the peak district.
o: (looks baffled) and that's where exactly-
m: about 45min drive from manchester, uk.
o: (comprehension) aha okay. what were you doing?
m: i was visiting my partner.
o: (small-talkish) and how long has been there for?
m: he was born and raised there.
o: (raise eyebrow) oh? what does he do?
m: he plays for bbc phil.
o: (raise another eyebrow) and you?
m: well, i live here, for now, if you let me in?
o: (calmly) and what do you do?
m: i work at utoronto, at music faculty-
o: (baffled) so he lives there and you are here?
m: yes, that would be correct-
o: (pause) HOW DOES THAT WORK?
m: well, it's working no?!?
o: (surprised) why isnt he moving here?
m: we can go eitherway, as long as i get my citizenship ppr!
o: (genuine warmth) well, welcome back, ms lee,
and bring your love  here for you, we'll find him something,
m: hahaha, thanks.
o: (back to official) any gifts? duty-related things? you say- of 100 CAD value?
m: just carton of fags.
o: (scribble) that's all of 100?
m: i have no idea how much a carton costs- so it seemed okay?
o: (mischievous) and nothing from your partner?
m: i have- toffees! 24 blocks of them!
o: (lost)toffees?
m: that's 2.4kg of toffee!
o: wha- (amused greatly)
m: i may lose pretty things but i can always eat toffee!
o: (genuine) are they good?
m: ones with brazilian nuts are particularly good.
o: (smiling) i suppose brush your teeth, and welcome home.
m: thanks sir. good afternoon to you.
o: (scribble 'candies' on form, hands back to monkey)

how does it work? well, it does work.
even when 25% of my check-in luggage was toffee.
by weight.

while others were losing patience at our conversation, it was for canadian national security. important things in life, sometimes. as long as it works. what a grave matter!  :)

Comments

  1. mr fishOctober 29, 2010 at 4:34 AM

    These things are important! Upon such matters hang the fortunes of the great. (British toffee exports have soared this month, helping to balance the budget deficit greatly)

    ReplyDelete
  2. KrispyOctober 30, 2010 at 1:50 AM

    I am heartened to hear about such a nice-sounding HUMAN working in such a position - too often they are so curt/rude. Thank goodness you got a good one. :)

    ReplyDelete

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