a commie birthday
but i should have thought of it from mom's perspective- after losing gabe, i bet she's a bit more attached to the other two kiddies that she conceived, gave birth to and still continues to eat her love, if a bit messily (insert lots of cut-eyes and unpleasant phone exchanges). and yes, that's what it was- she wanted to do something for monkey. she wasnt saying 'you shouldve stayed' to make me sad, but really because she wanted me to stay. oops sorry mom. i do love you. I LOVE YOU! anyways.
this year, i had a proper birthday party. minnow called up on chinley friends. and PO, my best mate, who i dragged to england as a forced holiday ('and no, you cannot install any audio-related program on your laptop! you are going on a damned holiday!'), also was born on beginning of june. so two birthdays were celebrated in this old pub, in the back room. sound dodge? well, yes, it couldve been.
it is a proper 16th century pub with a great beer selection. and food is good. not as good as the company though. my/PO's b day cake was baked by the daughter of cello chair no. 3 and english horn lady of the phil, a nine-and-half-sassy-lady, who showed up in her 'grease' costume dress. the table was full of odd combinations of things: firelady, both principle double reeds, violist who really is an accordionist at heart, a romantic cello boy, minnow's longtime section friend, appropriate off-spring and lovely accompanying family member(s). and yep. i had a beer ( ! ) and a glass of red ( ! ) and a huge piece of cow meat ( ! )
why such a decadence? from usually-hard-nosed-austere monkey?
because a birthday is not really just for me. i finally found this revelation. as death day (or funeral day) wont be really for me either. i used to think birthday are stupid- as far as logics go, a day of a year had to be a birthday. the odd of it being 'today,' which would be 1: 365, is actually quite a good odd (if my odds are this good consistently, i would gamble) therefore people who demanded 'bday treatment' were deemed as 'morons.'
and yes, they will still be *morons.
*please dont be offended about the term: moron. it still is a psychological term at its heart, describing a person with mental age between 8-12. in fact:
idiot (IQ 0-25) < imbecile (IQ 26-60) < moron (IQ 51-70)
however, it would also be a moronic thing to tell one's loved ones to stop all expressions of love for oneself. a birthday party belongs to a group of people, not a person. in that case, who am i to say: cease the festivity? let me be loved by my peeps. and a glass of red and a nice former derbyshire bovine being is hard to resiste. especially in a 16th century pub and paid by others.
so i had a grand time. they all had a good time. though i am sure that the sum of everyone's enjoyment is a lot larger than its parts. one can have a good dinner any day. especially if one starves. but it's not about food. not about being in a pub. not about having friends. nor about not dying- yet. it is the sum of all things that leads to that random focal point. i couldve celebrated the a gold mean date based on my birthday within the year. but really, that's too much math. so why not pick a date that is agreeable, easy to remember (so they say) and meets the initial requirement of being one of the 365 days within the year?
well, so we did. did i tell you that it's also mataharis' birthday? yep. crazy gemini dates.
it was nice to experience shared love from people's lives that overlaps with mine. it was an occasion to express gratitudes and be gracious to one another. birthday it was, and it belongs to everyone around me. and i am lucky to have such great people in my life. so a small thanks everyone! i shall try not to die soon nor painfully. good wishes for all!