the latest project, fat gurl wanna be rock star: lost-then-found music for piano and bassoon, came to life this afternoon.  the idea of trash was intriguing from the get-go and now that the concert has happened, it is easy to simply discard the experience, hence producing more trash. however, in spirit of true dumpster diver, when the time is right (after the dust has settled), i am going to revisit and re-evaluate this rich experience. YES.

for now, today was the day one of the rock star journey.  it went with the usual unexpected surprises (including a runaway page of the saint-saens. nutty. just like the composer himself, who one day just left his wife without saying a word and disappeared in midst of vacation... i suppose i will never ever let that happen again), trying out new things (somewhat cumbersome learning curve for live streaming) and trying to befriend an unknown stranger yet (a very distinctively voiced, somewhat full-on steinway piano with that occasional display of resonant, beautiful sound- promising, enticing and teasing).

and yes, friends and audience who loved every bit of the long program (somehow it grew and grew; bit of good trimming never hurt anyone, will look into this) and a space that was filled with unusual ideas and timbres- we rented gallery 345 at sorauren avenue and at our initial contact with mr. e, the owner/curator, full of enthusiasm and curiosity (yes, to point of intriguing and charming eccentricity), though he has heard bassoon recitals, i dont think he was expecting such a full-on in-your-face-punk-bassoon that resonated the space.  and i can only hope he was pleasantly surprised.

this is one of the very few projects of recent where i was integrated from conception to first performance.  i am still pushing on with a small self-directed recording project, but since it's largely solo journey, it's much simpler and i am quite used to it- almost comforting, like extension of a practice room, where one is learning constantly about oneself and coming to accept self at the given present- while keeping the eye on possibilities and reality.  but working with the heron lady, who has been itching to try out something different (ex. bassoon rockstar lady), my conception of a program (the usual academia/classical concert hall presentation with standard repertoire and traditional values) has been stretched further-

rather than worrying whether it may come through or not, i tried to 'give it a shot,' composing simple chains of images taken from our daily lives, loosely connect the pieces, shape the pieces in a structure that reflects more than time-line or difficulty levels (we tried my favorite format, where a prog begins from silence to very quiet and still music, which returns back to the end, where it comes to the point of quiet to silence, a circle; i think it did work this afernoon. would love to hear about it!)-

of course, like every performance, there are things that went beyond my expectations and there are things that will evolve.  however, the most important thought about this no. 1 concert of many to come (i hope), is that we, heron lady and i, are able to converse, construct, cast and communicate ideas- ideas that were accepted and appreciated by our supportive audience, not only because they love us but because it resonated with them somehow...

the magic will become apparent in couple days when things settle.

ah. beautiful afternoon.
i feel curious and curioser.
life is worth living and yes, i am dreaming of events.
especially in that malleable space of gallery 345.
i want to fill it with energy and thoughts,
questions and provocations,
acceptance with opinions and disagreements,
to live and to speak and to listen.

thank you world, for giving me the space to be a musician.
thanks, blue heron lady.
thanks to all support staff.
let's do it all over again!

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