beautiful white men shall tell us what beauty is... sigh.

please, meet the beautiful, proud, diverse men who knows how to truly appreciates what we should all look up as beautiful and aesthetically sound examples from the western arts world: from left top, clockwise: richard morrison, michael church, rupert christiansen, andrew clements, all highly-qualified, uber-intelligent and so influential that they get paid to write personal judgement on women's appearance instead of musical reviews.

could not find an appropriate jpeg of andrew clark, writing for the financial times. may be there's a reason. unsightly?

so recently, five delusionall-powerful white male music critics (can we say stereotypical?) wrote their heartfelt review of the rosenkavalier at the glyndebourne festival, saturday night.

hey, it's opera, obviously, we NEED to look how the women looks? after all, fat men can still deliver beautiful music, but women... no, their physical beauty must comply with each individual man's dream list (whatever it may be), and it seems that every single one of them cannot stand the idea of woman of size- too thin, too tall, too short, too fat. 

in this case, too fat, apparently.

the choice that glyndebourne festival made was against all standard of beauty, apparently, so clearly stated in these men's words.  the physical presence of the irish mezzo, tara erraught brought emotional distress so great that the five critics could not write music reviews; instead, they turned into TMZ style reports.

for mr. clark, for the financial times: (ms. erraught's) octavian is a chubby bundle of puppy fat.

for mr. clements, in the guardian: it was hard to imagine this stocky octavian as... lover.

for mr. church, for the independent: (ms. erraught) has the demeanor of a scullery-maid.

for mr. christiansen in the telegraph: (ms. erraught) is a dumpy of stature... her costuming makes her resemble something between heidi and just william.

for mr. morrison, in the times of london: unbelievable, unsightly and unappealing.

whoa. cuz apparently, those men, as we see in their public photos, are the prime example of beauty themselves.  i wont ask what size their pants are, or how much they can benchpress. i should assume that they are truly aware of what can be beautiful, because obviously, as music critiques, the main focus was to discuss how a woman looked.
so intelligent: cue: roaring clap and excited audience noise.

it's almost like these old men are incredibly jealous of her youth, beauty and yes, musical gift. because, you know, the guys at the glyndebourne festival have no idea about how to pick people for roles, being such amateurs- but hey, these guys do! we should pay these white, self-important males of the G20 western european roots to set what is only right: acceptable standard of beauty.

in their footsteps, i am now practicing proper journalism. thanks, you five old men. i cant believe you guys found the time to share your knowledge and thoughts about how we should shape the world. (it paid, i guess)

oooh that's right. if you werent paid, perhaps you wouldnt even bother talking to rest of us, the world that is not beautiful, as we are clearly not worthy of you.  (what is that? a critic? what does he create? nothing? surely they are good for something? chauvinism? mysogeny? double standards? portrayal of malicious old people who are gone senile?)

for mr. clark: (your reviewer character) is an unattractive saggy bag of white male sprimacy.

for mr. clements: it's hard to imagine this shallow, chauvinist reviewer as this lovely singer's plausible reviewer.

for mr. church: (this reviwer) has the demeanor of demented, delusional while male from G20 countries, power-tripping.

for mr. christiansen: (he) is arrogant in impression and... his his publicity photo makes him resemble a cheap-shot favouring pretend-journalist, something between mindless chauvinist and mean-spirited white man.

for mr. morrison: unbelievable, unsightly and unappealing.

perhaps im lacking serious level of finesse. sorry, gentlemen, i must go work on my literary devices and general education of aesthetics and whoops, a minor in properly-focused article writing skills before i can properly comply to your standards.

such beautiful men can go stay in the little holes they live in with like-minded beautiful people, just like the good old greco-roman days where the slaves and sub-citizens were the key to maintain their beautiful lives... let the rest of the world, full of people with flaws, which makes them beautiful, prosper without prejudice and with loads of true intelligence.

after all, they were paid to write a music review, not a mean-spirited weight-focus group judgement.  oops. reading comprehension... once again. foiled.

any of them care to tell us what their pants size is? prob not.

No comments:

Post a Comment