and he wept.


et in terra pax-

what a loaded statement.

i recently went to see the russian film leviathan with friends. the story draws from the circular plot of human suffering- the spiral downward to infinite sadness where one loses the most important things, one by one, love, family, house, hope- for a simple cause of another: greed.  a story of a job.

i wrote a blog post about book of job long time ago. i struggle with the story. the almighty god and almighty satan. the power bets. the human in-between. a pawn.

today, i went to have a coffee with a new-ish friend. i think we can foster a nice relationship- which is quite exciting! another person will let me into her life, to relate, to share, to offer and take!

and we talked about idea of north. of separation. of contexts. then of the gods.

we are imperfect. with acceptance, we may be able to see the idea of perfection, something that is not bound by the human condition. release. freedom. infinite capability. perfection. god.

then it hits me like a brick at midnight.

the image of god, of the supreme being, looking into the depth of the maelstrom of human suffering. by the exact rule that he exists through, god cannot help any man directly. a perfection cannot be part of imperfection. imperfection may carry the image of perfection.


imagine the searing pain of watching the faults of humanity, where a man grinds another, eyes blinded with desires, ego, impatience and…  pack of dingos feeding from one another, like prometheus, the flesh grows,  leaving the trace of pain even more difficult.

in the bach passacaglia in c minor and in the second movement of the vivaldi gloria, god wept.

the city covered with wet, opaque grey. snow came down, heavy, laden with thoughts today. and as it kissed the ground, it turned into tears. pool of tears.

hearing the quiet sobbing of the god, the night continues into oblivion.

there is job.
there is god.
who is who, which is which?

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