10.5.15

silly thoughts on mothers day

i am not so sure she wouldve chosen me, if she had the choice.  after all, we are bit different- yeah, some pairs are similar to one another, some differs, but my decisions usually surprise her and her decisions are rarely readily acceptable for me.  

we butt heads all the time, it became normal to simply acknowledge rather than cooperate or assimilate our differences in all-issues (THANK THE LOARD FOR THAT).

during the years, i have thought of hurting her and i have hurt her, probably more times than i would ever know. and her words have hurt me, likely to the extend we cannot exactly explain. and i have swallowed back the lovely compliments i have for her at numerous occasions, cuz im silly like that. may be she knows about it anyhow, like proper mother-daughter-jedi-mind-trick.  i ought to say bit more, there, i just created a project. ha!

we have long way to go together, if average life expectancy is a believable thing, and i am glad she is finally taking care of self to be a whole person- walking, sleeping and hopefully less worrying. 

despite of all the dysfunctions of life, it is true, that i do love her deeply and she loves me.

often the most logical solutions are not the solutions applicable.  like many things in life, we dawdle and bumble along, good and the bad. and serious amo. of 'wtfs.' after all, as monday and tuesday passes, it's all 'wtf,' every week, ha ha!

i cannot detach nor can she. it is a nice thing to be bonded properly- just like gluing things together, one make abrasion on the surfaces before applying the glue, so that the pieces will stick better together. the grooves and uneven surfaces, imperfections allowing stronger bond.

first time in many years, she's not in town for the mother's day. so here it is.

much love to mom.  thanks for the years of love as well as anger, frustration, acceptance, rejection, silent fuming and not-so-silent outbursts. it makes it real. i know we will always have our discourses and that it is normal, because you trust me to speak my mind and you also let me know what you think.

it is great to have a real relationship with mom.
thanks mom!
thanks granny!
thanks moms!

love to all the moms in the world.  just remember, whenever your kid say something infuriating, it probably means 'i love you and i want you to love me.' simple as life gets.  and yeah, i heard you right. you do love me. teehee.

*photo cred: julia wimmerlin, from national geographic
http://photography.nationalgeographic.com/photography/photo-contest/2014/entries/wallpaper/nature-week-8/#/2

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